Sound together

Sound together

Word Empathy is firmly established in our everyday vocabulary.

Many people who have no relationship to the psychic environment, use it actively, and it seems in many cases to the point.

Empathy can be interpreted very broadly, as Martin Buber: "slide his feelings inside the dynamic structure of the object, column, or crystal, or a branch of a tree, or even an animal or human, and that is called to follow him inside".

In this sense, we experience it when we capture a movie or music, when the driver of the car becomes your car, and the rider becomes one with the horse, her intuitive feeling. Sometimes even the impression, if we read the thoughts of another person - so accurately manage to understand through empathy.

Understood as widespread empathy - the ability to neutral, which we can use in different ways:

  • how to better understand the human and become closer to him or to help,
  • and to hurt him where it hurt.

Empathy is not unique to humans, but there is in it something specifically human?

In our brain (as well as in the brain of many animals) have mirror neurons. They are so named because they are excited, not only when we do perform a certain action - but when we see how it performs other, and themselves at the same time doing nothing, or when we see the emotional expressions of others.

mirror neuron research is ongoing, and the unknown is much more than friendly, but their relationship with empathy seems quite reasonable. On the corporal level becomes clear that, when we are faced with the suffering of another person, we experience his own suffering as just. It affects us from within. In a sense, we are born to be able to feel into Other.

At the level of emotion there is something more: I see the suffering of others - feel their own suffering inside. It becomes in tune with some my experience and can make me some kind of emotional reactions that are not related with the suffering that I see at the moment. Through this, I seemed to worry not only for the moment, here and now, but also to touch myself-past. It may be sad, it can be experienced as something weakens or cause fear.

At the same time I feel something in relation to whose suffering I see now. It can be experienced as unbearable, Gabrielle Wittkop accurately described this experience in the story "The Sleep of Reason":

When pity unbearable torments me, that is me, if not to throw stones at those who caused it?

If suffering is portable, I can feel in relation to the Other warmth, even joy because we have something in common, tenderness - we are close and I can feel it as something good at the same time feeling the pain.

On the intimate level I'm faced with the fact that the suffering that I feel - about me. It has a direct relation to me, it is in a sense, my.

  • Can I accept it as their own?
  • Can I open it as part of yourself?
  • How it makes me in my eyes right now?

Here, I'm staying with him one-on-one: I see myself and how I touched something that happens. And it can be very uncomfortable because, how does this affect me, how I react, I feel and experience.

I seem to get up in front of him and empathically vchuvstvuyus have to, I for myself another. And, as mentioned in relation to the Other, can survive the intimacy with itself - as something good, and himself as a valuable for themselves. Paradoxically, through what I have given the work of others, I can touch very deeply to himself.

At the same time it turns out that the closer we look at this process, the more we see that it goes deep within us - so deep that others with his suffering seemed lost. Only I remain standing in front of himself. My focus on yourself will not let me see another.

What will happen next, it depends on how we will take a proactive approach: to get back to the others, required at some time aside yourself to go beyond their own feelings, thoughts, assumptions, attitudes.

Carl Rogers wrote:

So that I could help you, I will have to go beyond the boundaries of the self ... and enter the world of your perception as fully as I am capable of it ... I will be your alter ego, your alter ego.

John Fuhrman says that you need in a sense, to die to yourself to others. Rollo May - that there is lost identity of its own. If you do not cling to details, all of them, and many other authors say that the articles for other same Another way I was for myself: experiencing intimacy with one another as something good, and seeing it as valuable.

Bodily and mental aspects of empathy, we can add the is the personal aspect: instead of ourselves we put their decision in front of himself to others, while opening themselves to him.

This means that my body would feel the same as him, or that I'll be thinking about the same thing, and experience all the same as the others. Rather, it is a decision about opening up, this turn towards the other will be an opportunity to resonance to us on all levels - no matter how different we are. We do not feel that the feelings of others, and his answer is that he feels reflect each other and discover each other's property that we have.

This resonance, I do not need to say, "I can deal with that," - my can resonates with can Other, and together they are sound much louder and clearer than alone.

In this resonance, we become something of a remaining one yourself. He makes empathy - neutral psychophysiological mechanism - something very valuable for all of us.

What-what we can experience yourself as a person.