Why not attract those partners?

We attract those

who already have in our subconscious.

Therefore, all of our partners - it is always those who are at an unconscious level we need.

However, they do not always like us.

And sometimes like, but do not bring happiness relationship with them.

Why is this happening?

Here are some reasons that lead to this.

1. Influence of emotional program.

As a child in the parental home, each of us has formed its own emotional program. We have seen how parents communicate with each other, how they behave with us, and on this basis, on an unconscious level, we had the idea of ​​the relationship of man and woman. And once an idea is, we aim (whether we like it or not) make it a reality.

If your family was dysfunctional, psychologically healthy person would not be able to fit into your picture of the world. You simply do not notice or scared. And here are the same as you, the injured partners will cause you to have vivid emotions.

For example, if a girl grew up in a family where the father was a tyrant, and his mother - a victim, it can in the future to attract tyrants to feel like a victim, because it is such a model of the relationship of man to woman accustomed to it. And we're not looking for a good and familiar. If your partner allows us to experience the same feelings that we experienced in the parental home (no matter what they were), we often quickly fall in love with him. To your emotional program is not guided by you, it must first of all realize. Then you will be able to change it.

2. Lack of integrity.

Subconsciously, we are looking for a merger with the person who compensates for the lack or absence of certain qualities in us.

  • shy and passive person will be drawn to active and assertive,
  • compliant - a powerful and controlling,
  • strong - a weak,
  • infantile - the responsible,
  • "good girls" - to the "bad boys".

The relationship partners, largely opposed to each other, give them a sense of integrity.

The merger - is an attempt to compensate for something missing. And this attempt results in a co-dependent relationship in which more suffering than happiness.

But there is another solution: develop your hand those who have mild or absent. Then you will not look for the one who will complement you and the person with whom you will be happy.

3. No internal state of the resource.

If you are happy with your life and are filled with love, then most likely, you will be attracted to the same resource partner. If life does not please you, if you feel the emptiness and loneliness that you can attract anyone who will show you the attention and interest. You will not care what he is. The main thing - you fill them their lives. For you, any, even the most destructive relationship will be better than none at all. To avoid this, build your life so that it will please you, even if you currently do not have a partner. Then the motives for entering into a relationship, and therefore the partners that you choose will be very different.

4. The tendency to idealize a partner.

You see what you want to see, or just the other side of the partner, he wants to show you. You yourself dorisovyvat his image, giving it the desired characteristics, so it seems you are very attractive. But this is not a real person, but only the image that you have created. Over time you will begin to recognize the true nature of man, and can you not like it.

It is important to remember that a person is revealed not through words, but through actions, which is why it is impossible to find a partner in the virtual dialogue. He speaks of himself only what he wants to say. Much remains "behind the scenes".

Also, if you tend to fall in love is not a man, but in its potential, then you may suffer disappointment. Your expectations from a partner - it's your expectations. He does not have to meet them. He can never change. Be willing to accept it for what it is, and honestly tell yourself that this is not the man you want to see next.

5. Fear of being oneself.

This fear is exacerbated with those who are important and meaningful to you. "If I'm myself, I can not like it, and I will reject." And then it turns out that those who like it, you start to play, trying to show only their best side. At the same time you become unnatural (oops) and fake (s) of interest, and do not call. But with those who are not very significant for you, you stay in this (second), which (th), you have a natural (oops) and spontaneous (th), and it is very attractive. It turns out that the person who you like - does not respond to you in return, and vice versa. And all the fault - the fear of rejection. Work with them, so it does not prevent you from being in this (second), which (th) you are.

If you do not like those who are attracted to you, then look for the cause, especially in ourselves.

It is important to understand that you are attracted to unsuitable partner for you?

To change something in yourself, you will become "visible (oops)" for quite other people.

And you will attract different people.

Perhaps those in which you have not paid any attention.

It is among them you will, with high probability, to find a partner with whom will be able to build a truly happy relationship.