Identify yourself by name

Identify yourself by name

- Say "no" in different ways. As if angry. As if in doubt. As if ready to say "yes."

- No. No ... nooo ...

... Client Sergei came with a request that I hear more and more often: "I do not feel that I live. I'm kind of inanimate, do everything without feeling automatically "...

At the same time in his life as if everything is good - a prestigious job, an apartment. Machine ... And he - like a machine, mechanism, does not live, and performs the function.

It consists in the relationship. This means she is, because she has to be, and how without it? There is no love, there is a convenience. It seems that she too agreed to the meeting today, without plans, without dreams, without passion. Convenient Cavalier, comfortable sex. And what is this?

But "is" no longer hold Sergei. I hope his decision to come to therapy did not influence the fall with rain and sorrow fading ... and just - it's time.

But although there is a desire to change, this often is not enough ...

Sergei, as they say, "do not take." Any talk about the past, about his childhood stopped a polite smile; any prescription does as lives - mechanical ...

Four sessions, and we are all in the same place. Back to the beginning, to the thread between the psychologist and his client, which is called trust?

We switched to "you", he was talking about himself more. How to tell? "I came, I saw, did." No feelings, no emotions, or at least some relationship to what is happening ...

Then in the middle of one of the sessions I broke the silence and said, "We will train here and now. If we want to feel emotions, to start to teach them to recognize the ".

And we have meetings, "pronounce" emotions, "build" them, both in the gym building up muscles.

Try, when sad, to keep a smile on your face at least three to five minutes. You will be surprised how your mood will rise. No wonder studies show that the injections of Botox, when freezing facial muscles are "frozen" and the emotions that manifest themselves through these muscles.

... The next meeting, a standard question: what's new this week. "My friend and I broke up." And the voice is not sad, rather pleased. How so? "We realized that we love each other does not, and realized that it could not be."

Girl Katya, forgive me! I hope in your life to meet the prince, who loves himself and learn to love you!

***

- Tell me what happened at work?

- I was ... offended ...

- No, tell me what you feel? Someone did or said something that triggered your emotion. Tell me what you feel? - Puzzled ... Anger, regret ... No, I'm offended! I have no anger - anger! I want to bang his fist on the table, I want to do something: to hit, shout, swear! But I can not do it?

- Let's look for appropriate ways to release anger ...

***

- Tell me your name as if you calls out to a close friend.

- Seryoga!

- And now, as is "on the carpet" bosses.

- Sergey!

- And now - like calling you a girl.

- Serge!

- And now - as if you met Mom.

- Ser ... e ... Ms ...

Sergei, a moment ago captured fun game, suddenly somehow shriveled, his face twisted into a grimace of bewilderment, resentment, despair, and he cried, wiping children's tears large male hands.

- Mom, why are you so what ..?

I was silent, letting the tears spill. I knew that ahead - a lot of work: with children's grievances and feelings, so that little boy Serge hid from himself and from the world, hiding, displacing not only them, but also their feelings, gradually turning into ice boy who gave too few letters in order to lay down the "love" ...