How to prevent mother to marry
When you want to get married, but for some reason it still does not work, you can test yourself on one aspect - maybe mom somehow takes part in it?
What has my mother here, you ask?
And despite the fact that there are some unconscious systems (direct or indirect) that can actually interfere with getting married. And now I'm going to show you this.
Moms are different: cold, warm, toxic. We talk about the extreme cases and softer, and more specifically about direct and indirect generic messages.
There are moms who translate plain text:
- Why do you want to get married?
- Who are you, but me need?
- How are you mom had left?
- What will happen to me if you go?
Moms can monitor every move, every comment on the new man, and put him in the best light is not simply because he did not like the mummy - then marry him do not go. All this - straight generic messages. And, of course, direct manipulation. There are two possibilities developments.
1. The girl is really thinking about how it would be the same without Mom.
What it really is, if I suddenly fall in love and marry me summoned?
As it will be one, it is something can happen?
And this girl will avoid a serious relationship because it believes: Mom will be really bad and my mother, she may lose. It think differently simply can not, because it lived thirty years, and will continue to live like this, if it does not break on therapy to a psychologist.
These moms everywhere, so prior to therapy with her and can not get - it will stand at the door and listen to what you're talking with a psychologist. This is my real experience - was such a mother from one client, and the work did not work, because my mother stopped at the door to hear what we say, began banging on the door, and then ordered her daughter to go. Parent suggestions - this is something that requires serious and continuous study. And if the mother behaves towards you, the therapy - this is the only way to begin to pass the separation with his mother. Why did I write, that "start"? Because separation - this is a long process and was supposed to be mutual: Daughter lets mom, mom lets daughter. But so perfect is not always. Therapy helps to smooth the neoboyudnost. Or break the relationship that sounds, of course, terrible, but it is important to understand that my mother can not be corrected, and if the relationship with the mother depends the happiness - that you just have to choose.
2. The girl mum translates what she thinks about it, but still quietly trying to build relationships with men.
But it was not there. On an unconscious level, the program is still laid up and running. She wants it or not. Feelings of guilt and betrayal would be so strong that abandon the marriage easier. And actually out - again therapy. Because if you had the opportunity, strength or confidence to change it - then you would have to change it.
Indirect generic messages - a topic a little more complicated. Because their first we must discover. It looks like this may be as follows:
- Dad threw his mother, and Mom broadcasts from childhood, that all men are bad. Or poor dad because because it did. It's just talk. Like anything serious, but the attitude of the men transferred. Transmitted fears, insecurities, complexes, etc., that does not comply with the young girl, but the behavior is the sum of the unconscious systems.
- Their generations in the female line to convey a message like, the woman should be strong; it must rely only on themselves; men may bring; All Men womanizer (Vaughn Lyuska remember? So how to change it, and continues to change, and it does not work and, therefore, depends on it, is suffering, but he lives).
And like a girl is not very, very concerned, but our unconscious does not forget anything, it remembers everything. The earlier in life a girl starts to hear it, the more her subconscious installation. And if such a setup blabbed regularly (about them can even forget), they will still work against you.
She even try it is not necessary that the daughter is more likely the messages put deep in the unconscious - if my mother or someone in the female line somewhere "hurts" is unclosed wound about with men, and they translate this daughter they fall back. Such plants are called - limiting beliefs. And they limit because blocking energy to action. In our case - to block the opportunity to build long-term relationships, and then get married.
Even in the age of reason, such units can be laid. For example, friends of that guys cast, or friends who drink or husband strongly beaten, or change. And when you listen to their complaints and emotionally joins them, and start to worry - that is your unconscious learns. And then, it does not want to make you just as painful, and therefore protects the relationship. With the first all clear messages - there can not do without a psychologist.
With the second you can work independently.
You need to write down all the negative words, phrases, thoughts, messages - all you have to speak badly about men and about relationships with men. This list should be large, about 150-300 points. need to write about a month, a pen, a notebook in.
When you write it down, you have to find on the internet description of how to work with the square of Descartes. He has about 4 different descriptions, they are slightly different. You need to find your own. When it is determined necessary to every expression, every message to make out of it.
Yes, it is a difficult job that requires time. But such work is necessary to clean yourself from limiting beliefs.
And if it's not so serious, you'll notice a relief - it is checked up!
Both men will be active, and you begin to treat them differently.