That hides the bad character of spouse

That hides the bad character of spouse

Quite often, a psychologist complain about the bad character spouse.

From the story of the victims is an image of a partner with scandalous or detached from the relationship and care of the family.

However, for such human behavior are all sorts of reasons. One of the causes of bad character is a traumatic experience.

Trauma occurs when a strong emotional shock, when the human ability to make and sustain the world are subjected to a daunting challenge.

Most of the participants and witnesses of the attacks at the time of the accident experience shock, fear, panic, a sense of the end of the world.

Man K. was one of them.

Picture of building collapse and panic among the people shocked him. Some time later, blunted emotions, but remained unmotivated bouts of anxiety, the terrible memories of the terrible pictures of the event, accompanied by a desire to flee and hide.

Post-traumatic disorder manifested itself in phobias and inability to focus on any activity. A few months later, he decided to quit his job, which just could not concentrate. It was difficult to communicate with family and friends, he began to avoid everyday tasks, there was tension in the relationship with his wife, who accused him of being selfish.

Psychological trauma occurs not only single exposure traumatic event, but also as a result of stress for a long time. P. pensioner remarried, she has a good relationship with her husband. A daughter from his first marriage, in-law and granddaughter to her delight. Now P. considers his life happy, but it was not always. In the first marriage she got the aggressive spouse.

Daily she was afraid, hearing his cries and threats, humiliation felt by constant insults, I saw the frightened daughter's eyes when the next conflict in the family. This went on for a long ten years, until she found the strength to divorce, after which, and did not think to find a new family. She had lost the ability to feel, could not even cry, struggling to cope with the work.

Years later, she met a man with whom established good relations, she changed her job easier, my daughter grew up and married. And when, seemingly, it was possible to live and enjoy, began to emerge panic disorder are similar to those that appeared in quarrels with her first husband.

A few months she went to the doctors, but they shrugged their shoulders - an objective health was normal. wife health complaints caused sympathy husband first, but after unsuccessful attempts to configure it on the optimistic mood, the husband began to get annoyed.

Other examples of stressful situations: persecution from the environment, a sudden illness in the family, domestic violence, infidelity, divorce. The earlier traumatic situation arose, the harder it was, and the more sensitive the person is, the more negative its consequences.

  • observed increased anxiety and a willingness to respond, leading to conflict interaction with people.
  • Disappears basic sense of security, resulting in a behavior of avoidance.
  • There mood disorder, in which people like to see the world through dark glasses.
  • There are somatic complaints and frequent visits to doctors.
  • is formed attention deficit / hyperactivity disorder, which prevents focus on the creative process.

The man who survived the trauma, are increasingly experiencing a "can not" in work and relationships. His mind and body for a long time kept a negative experience, which is difficult to get rid of. One understanding of the problem is not enough to restore mental resources. Close people do not always understand the reasons for the strange behavior of a loved one, explain his laziness, selfishness, bad temper, try to educate punished.

The psychological trauma is treated by psychotherapy. From my experience working with clients who have undergone trauma, I can say that this work requires considerable time and great professionalism.

Recognize the trauma and to persuade to see a specialist is the main task of the people around the person suffering.