How to protect your child and help him defend himself
"Boys today make fun of me and called the baby, when I put on a new hat!" - Sophia said her mother through her tears. "I was sitting at the desk and just listened as they make fun of me, she could not tell me very upset right now." - Sofia finished her story.
"My new pen like Masha, and she took it. She said would give when he wants!" - I complained to my mother crying Anya.
We are talking about children, on which the house is not made of any kind of violence, but by virtue of their personal qualities can not stand up for themselves. Modest and good children who are afraid to offend someone who can not say "no", who can not defend their borders, which heavily protect themselves.
Typically, these children are the target of all sorts of aggressors in the kindergarten, school or gymnasium.
How to help your child cope with it and protect it?
first. The child must know and feel what it stands for strength (parent, family, brother or sister), it must be clearly understood, that will help him, and for him to enter. There is nothing worse than feeling your weakness, frailty and loneliness.
Children are very skillfully able to read the information and notice who gives or takes away this or another child. They look at it, a dad, what mother, brother or sister, and how they relate to it. Therefore, children can make their own impression, which will help your child build a relationship with others. As a rule, it is impossible to influence the offender's parents. No matter how you conducted pedagogical conversations with them - the situation does not change and the offender continues to offend or hit your child. What to do in this case?
Preparing in advance a short phrase, which should be clearly stated in plain language the child-abuser, according to his age. This phrase does not threaten his life, but at the same time is able to understand that for your child worth protecting.
"Not good girls beat"; "I can not delve into someone else's portfolio"; "Not good hit on the head, select the pencil"; "Not good to hide the hat or mittens another child."
All of these phrases do not work, dear parents! The offender must clearly understand that your child should not be hurt, or intercede for him!
Teach your child to defend its borders.
The child is not obliged to share their things, if he did not want to do. He needs to learn how to protect their property: toys, clothes, school supplies, accessories (barrettes, combs, erasers, books, pencils, chains, bracelets).
The first experience of the children get in the sandbox: "Do not be greedy Share your shovel with a girl!"; "Treat me with their candy"; "You're brother and sister, so have to share everything with each other" - said to Mom and Dad.
If the child does not share - parents hang on the baby labels and called greedy, and sometimes physically punished. As a result, the child formed the fear of being alone or being rejected, "If she does not give me a bracelet or a doll, it will not play with me or friends." How to proceed in such cases?
You must make it clear to the child that I have: my molds, my band, my shoulder, my sweetie, my food, my backpack, my book, my chain, my boyfriend, my girl. Child does not have to share if they do not want. It is necessary to defend their property, if someone encroaches on it.
If the child wants what the other has, it is necessary to make an exchange: to give something of themselves and ask what you want to get away from the other.
Also, teach your child to assert that it is not like something or you do not want to do. In cases where the child is forced to do something against his will: "Go turf her hair"; "Why do not you give me the doll, and I will be friends with you"; "Spit in his book"; "Hide her hat in the closet, and I'll stand on the lookout"; "Touch my penis" - it is necessary to answer the key phrases:
- "I do not want to do it,"
- "I do not want you to tell me it was done,"
- "I do not want you to take it,"
- "I do not like."
It is important to immediately seek help from a tutor or teacher, a security guard or an ambulance, to the parents, rather than the usual gloss over the conflict: "okay, somehow settle down."
third. Teach your child and learn with him to watch the people around you.
In situations where the child can not find a chat in the new team and suffers from it, tell him to watch the kids in the group or class. Surely there are such children, which plays most. Analyze together with the child why this is happening. Surely this girl or a boy interested in other children some exciting game or their skills (for example, drawing or toy). Think with your child or give him an opportunity to come up with a new game, and came to kindergarten or school, start your own, or with a companion-alone (which can always be found) to play this game.
As a rule, the other children will come up and be interested, perhaps, all together come up with a continuation of the game, during which "zavyazhutsya" new friendly relations.
The fourth and last.
Help your child to develop some of its ability where he can be himself and feel my best I can. If a child feels its capabilities, its power (intellectual, artistic or physical), it will increase self-esteem and self-worth.
By following these 4 toilless rules, you will help your child become a stronger, more confident, more daring and teach him to defend himself in any period of his life, as well as gain a trusting relationship with your child!