When you mom my mom ...

When a child comes into this world, the flow of love from my mother should be sent to him.

Unfortunately, at the moment it happens not so often. Our ancestors, who respected and understood many of the laws of the universe and lived on them - were doing it.

But, unfortunately, for many reasons, which I will describe in this article I am not, with each successive generation of that power was lost.

Survive at all costs becomes a priority, than dealing with your child's love for him.

Lack of love from his mother, his sense of uselessness and of no value causes women to seek a sense of usefulness, relevance and love in a relationship. But more often it does not find them there. Because the love between a man and a woman - she is of a different quality than the unconditional love and acceptance of the mother. Man can not give her.

Frustrated woman in the relationship often gives birth (in or out of wedlock) - for themselves. Unconsciously she wants to be loved and important, and the child now has to satisfy these needs.

His daughter becomes a mother addicted to it, because my mother constantly need emotional and mental support. In fact innocent, "I gave birth to you in my old age cup of water handed" turns to the child in the mother daily service needs. This duty destroys self-esteem, confidence, sense of self-worth daughter.

From their own needs and the needs of my daughter have to give up because they are not important to anyone not interested. It depends on the mother, so the struggle will try not to disappoint her, consistent with its expectations in the hope that someday mom will notice her efforts. One option, as the daughter receives such a relationship:

  • if I'm a good girl (dutiful, attentive, kind, intelligent), the mother noticed me and will love;
  • if I'm strong and support for the mother, she will appreciate me;
  • if I do what mom wants, she will rejoice and be happy - and I, too, will be calm ...

And so on. The place to rely on their adult mother, feel her support, the daughter herself becomes a base and support for her.

When a mother puts daughter to have to be an adult very early, it gives too much responsibility - she unconsciously "exploits" daughter.

And it will be very difficult in the adult life of this woman:

  • mother will require the execution of her this role at all times;
  • This setting will move to a relationship with a man - "if I'm good enough for him, he will be with me";
  • The same happens with the work - if you'll do this project (get another degree, I will work a lot), I'll be worthy of recognition, increase ...

In this situation, the mother translates: "Love (support, attention, acceptance, approval) in this world is not enough. They have to earn, earn, prove that you are worthy. And it is - hard work! ".

Such daughter deprived of their childhood, they become parents of their parents live under the yoke of excessive expectations. Only certain functions makes them worthy of attention and love. As manifested in the life of such a relationship:

  • mother "hang" their problems daughters waiting for them comfort and care services;
  • They expect that the daughter will put things in order in their lives, will act as an intermediary in their personal relationships (eg, father, grandmother, stepfather);
  • mother waiting for help from their daughters in the treatment of emotional problems - anxiety, fear, resentment, depression ...

The girl's mother will perceive as a weak woman who is unable to cope with their problems. At some point, the girl remains

  • , or blame themselves, that it is a burden to the mother,
  • or accept as a fact that he has no right to the satisfaction of their own needs, that it may be heard, understood, accepted, supported,
  • , or take responsibility for his mother over.

When the daughter is trying to assert their rights, which can often happen in adult life (attempts to create a family, get a job, which is like, not where mom sees it), the mother can become very aggressive: to accuse, threaten. She stands in the position of the victim, making every effort to achieve the manipulation of obedience from his daughter.

The most difficult thing in this situation is that most of these girls are the mothers see their mother as "good".

And if you're a woman you want to live a full, happy life, it is important to see what impact a child had a mother to you. Only you can heal yourself. Unfortunately, neither daughter is not able to satisfy the emotional hunger of his mother. It is useless to make a sacrifice to her - so you'll never be good, never get the love that you expect. The pain of your mother - her responsibility. in your power to admit - that it was, it can not be changed. See the truth. Feel angry at his mother to let him go, accept yourself.

Love you can find inside.

You can feel their pain and heal her - her maternal injury heal and fully live. Otherwise, you will continue to feel bad and flawed and ashamed because he did not sootvetstvuesh some image that you that something is wrong ...

To release the self-hatred and self-sabotage, it is important to find your inner Mother: loving, accepting, supportive and strong, on which you can rely on. Then your inner girl come to life, reveal their talents, let his feelings, will be happy and interested in life!