How to accept the idea that you deserve a better fate, and you have the right to happiness?
The reason may be simple: a person does not believe that it deserves better. He always think that he is not good enough. Here's a little bit more ... A "little" - it is sometimes very much. And no matter how much he tried dostigator this - this, he believes, is not enough to be worthy. Changes for the better are pushed indefinitely.
No pain - this is not the happiness of
Many psychologists give advice banal: easy to believe in themselves - and all. However, it is easy to say, exercise is much more difficult. Especially when it comes to the beliefs and attitudes that have been stored in the soul for decades. It is very difficult to take something positive, if a child indoctrinated destructive thoughts. Why would a child nor sought - it immediately depreciates. And he was getting used to think: "I'm really bad."
Someone grew up in a terrible atmosphere among sadistic relatives. In this case, it may seem that the absence of pain - this is happiness. And so great, fantastic, improbable that want something more - it is simply immoral. After all, a lot to be - it's bad. That this inspires a man accustomed to the role of victim.
A very serious obstacle to the improvement of life - a lack of self-love, or even its complete absence of. And here, too, the roots come from childhood. Dislike to him was presented almost as a moral norm. Alas, there are times when the very idea of the need to love yourself seem to be something terrible. For some people the idea of taboo that to yourself, you can experience some good feelings.
There are even situations where a child is suggested that itself is not something that you can not love - not hate yourself! Scary, but sometimes it sounds like plain text. And when such an unfortunate nevertheless begins to read books about the improvement of life, he feels shock. Particularly strong when it encounters the idea of the need for self-love.
Unfortunate it seems that it touched something forbidden, ill ... Similar sentiments could probably experience people in the Middle Ages, if infected with heresy for which he knows the fire danger. That's the same sounds heretical idea of self-love for the one who used to hate myself and consider it the norm. it is very difficult to change the setup - it requires serious work on himself.
The small steps on the way to my
Realize and feel the very presence of the destructive programs in the head - is a challenge. And if you got to do like that, it is already a feat. However, this is half the battle. After the weeds are so deeply seated that they at one time did not pull out. They are rooted in the mind and soul, but over the years only grows stronger. Fix a lot to. Let's say, do not like what's around at the moment. But by itself it does not all come to life. People who are around - this is not a random person. And if next to them is bad, it is an indication that the person himself does not know how to feel good about yourself. Immediately implement global change will not work - should start with small things.
Many people, even in adulthood brings joy something quite childish. Someone, for example, can remember that once wanted to paint pictures. But these classes were banned - because it's stupid and useless pastime! So, at least, it sounded from the lips of "smart" people.
It should go out and buy these coloring books and exercise their childish desire. It does not matter how many years have passed - it's important to give yourself pleasure. Enjoy a choice of books, and then - by the process of painting. This is - the meeting session with him, during which important insights may occur.
The Royal exercise
Art therapy - a very good tool to get closer to him. To raise self-esteem can be a fun exercise. Namely: to make yourself the royal crown. And it is important to enjoy the process of making: stock up on cardboard, colored paper, glitter, tinsel and even New Year's "rain" - all will find application.
Then, slowly, with pleasure tinkering accessory. And when he is ready to do more exercise. I wear this crown and wear it five or ten minutes. It should enter into the image monarch, pay attention to your feelings. There was a desire to straighten your back? If yes, very good.
Way to itself - it consists of small steps. Sometimes barely noticeable. But they have to be regular. And for them (important!) Need to praise ourselves. After all, as sometimes happens: a man allows himself though and joy, but then feels for that burning sense of guilt. It corrodes as sulfuric acid. If, however, praise yourself, it will help to stop the groundless feel guilty.
The ability to give yourself the joy - a personal contribution to the common treasure of happiness. Who developed this skill, that can transmit positive emotions to others. It sounds axiomatic that in order to love others, you have to love yourself first.
It is not always easy. But small steps that will help to get closer to him, it is necessary to do constantly. If not immediately manifest global shifts. But gradually, the positive opinion will be more.