Relationship with. How not to wander into their feelings, like a hedgehog in the fog?
In today's world, where everything is more complicated than the hunting of a mammoth and a continuation of the family, they are very easy to get lost. And even if our lives are not threatened by a predator of the forest, we are still afraid of criticism and failure: do not dare to try his hand at theater, ask enhance or call someone out on a date. All this is terribly interfere fulfill dreams!
Allow the feelings names
It always feels right? No not always. But you can not ignore them. They need to listen and decide how to respond to them. Often we do not know what to feel. Think about how often you are substituting one emotion the other? For example, when angry with a child or loved one, you recognize anger? Or say that they just frustrated and tired? Throw! Call a spade a spade.
Barbara Sher in his book "It's time" proposes to divide feelings into four main groups: fear, happiness, anger, pain. The spectrum of each feeling great. Happiness can range from fleeting joy to the stormy jubilation. Pain - mild nostalgia agony, anger - from mild irritation to rage.
At the same feelings can be configured or only the tip of the iceberg: the fear and pain can disappear under the anger. Envy often combines anger and pain. Complex feelings are most often cover. For example, when we feel guilty or feel their emotions unacceptable.
The conscious attitude to emotion makes us tolerant of themselves and others. When you understand and accept all feelings, you begin to size up that nobody is perfect.
Understand that we're not in paradise.
Nature gave us a sense that we can live a full life. We need to laugh and cry, but not to run a unicorn over the rainbow. In that case, Barbara Sher is a funny recipe:
"Do you want to rest - sleep longer and occupies only the usual chores. You dream to get rid of anxiety? Eat as many chocolate, drink a lot of beer and all day click the TV channels. Check that it works. You can become serene as the Buddha himself. But it is boring and not fun. "
So, if you need something more than comfort and satiety, do not be afraid to feel negative emotions.
Change the channel
It is important not to be on the same wavelength. When our feelings do not change for a long time, we cease to grow and move towards the goal. State of mind must be constantly changing.
Understand your feelings
Start honestly write what you feel. Do not hide behind something bright anger, do not try to look their best. Soon you will feel like a real person and cheer up.
If you find it difficult to decipher your feelings, model situation. For example, if you need to make a call, you do not want. Imagine that already dialed the number and the person on the other end said. What do you feel? Fear? Humiliation? Offense? To make it easier to understand yourself, make a catalog of emotions. Tick the feeling that experience.
Do your research. Look what words you mark more often? A lot of anxiety and absolutely no playfulness? Often angry and do not feel ease? This characterizes you. Then you need to dig further. Where did this come from? As you stuck some children hurt or you are so educated? It ticks the alignment is different from those that you have set a year ago? Then maybe it's some kind of temporary and uncharacteristic for you to state the source of which must be found.
When you begin to recognize your feelings, you will be much easier to realize their vocation to find something for everyone, build relationships and realize a dream. Do not suppress the emotions and your inner voice. Do anything that requires your state of mind.