Different perspectives: how to get along and work well together?

What to do? There is an exit!

The first especially when it comes to work and business, before starting business with someone, you need to get to know him, his ethics, moral principles, attitudes and values, goals. Ideally, they should be the same, "one wave" with a colleague is absolutely necessary to reach the goal together.

If many of the aforementioned items have a mismatch with your views and attitudes, then once again to better reflect: whether or not to cooperate with such a man? Experience often shows that there is a conflict can not be avoided and it can break out at the most inopportune for business or work time when you need to make an important decision when it comes to new methods of work, where new ideas are discussed, and so on.

Secondly, need to watch how much contrary to the views of the other person's yours. Can you come to the dialogue after the "golden middle", or still your views are so important to you that you are not ready to sacrifice them?

Here we are talking about so-called "personal boundaries". They need to respect and be respected. This is your private space to which no one has the right to encroach, or "integrity" of the individual, health and emotional comfort can be permanently impaired.

Different perspectives: how to get along and work well together?

, make a list of things to figure out where your personal boundaries are:

  • are you willing to endure any amount you they especially do not jar;
  • You are ready to discuss and find a compromise;
  • you generally are not ready to tolerate, nor discuss or seek compromises.

The last of the three points is the personal boundaries of your I, which should be preserved under all circumstances. If you understand that a person looks around you violate third point - it is better to interrupt the communication with him, because a more expensive out, or you can use another option ... There is a useful expression in the psychology of communication: "Children manipulate and take offense, adolescents in conflict, adults agree to."

Look who appeared beside you, which plays the role of a man? He is an "adult", "baby" or "parent" of transactional analysis Eric Berne. On the basis of its role, think about what you will need to take to bring the relations on a constructive path.

For example, the "Parent" always teaches, instructs, evaluates. "Child" - emotional, unpredictable, touchy. "Adult" says soberly, to think logically, takes responsibility.

Depending on the situation and objectives of people take different roles. Your task is to bring relations to communicate the level of "adult" - "adult". In these roles you will always be able to clearly separate responsibilities, distinguish opinion from fact, to come to a common denominator and the situation "win-win", where each is in its benefit.

Different perspectives: how to get along and work well together?

Third, If you can not avoid cooperation, then we go on the contrary, is not focused by the controversy, but "adjusted for values": looking for the values ​​and attitudes that you can combine with another person. The general topic of conversation. Surely there is something that you have in common.

If, for example, for your children and colleagues are important to you, they are also important, try to talk about them. Or both of you is important for fairness and justice, then do focus on these concepts when talking, "beat" them so that the chosen theme was through the lens of justice and fairness.

Or the so-called "effect of Benjamin Franklin" - from the same area. He wanted to get a human disposition, with whom he had disagreements, moreover, this man did not like it. Franklin asked to borrow his valuable book, saying that really need it. He got his wish, and politely, sincerely thanked the man. Previously this man avoided Franklin, they are after such a gesture later even became friends. Threads where you have a disagreement, it is necessary to determine in advance and arrange them especially not affect, because everyone is entitled to their opinion, and it also should be respected! Remember, adults agree and respect the opinion of each.

Different perspectives: how to get along and work well together?

Another excellent working psychological trick: pay more attention to the good quality of your opponent's character, his actions and words. And if they tell you their liking, then odds considerably smoothed, if not eventually disappear from relations - these are not empty words, but the actual experience of many people.

In any case, people who have appeared at least some common topics to talk about, with time and can learn to listen to each other more, and greater flexibility in communicating!