How to survive the pain of betrayal?

Betrayal of a loved one completely changes your perception of the world. Moreover, it changes remarkably quickly. You betrayed. Your feelings were not needed someone who was so dear to you. From what? And the most important question - why? torture yourself searching for the answer to this question, you can endlessly, but we must understand that the correct answer you can give only one who betrayed you. Everything else - this is your guesses and speculation.

In this regard, you had better regret their nerves (they will still come in handy) and try not to think about what was guided by a loved one. He definitely had his own motives. But what you are now the difference? If you are not ready to forgive him, what's the point to find out the root cause?

Betrayal is what hurts the human psyche. What is there is the danger?

How to survive the pain of betrayal?

1. Apply a serious blow to self-esteem. You may feel that you betrayed again, then you are not worthy of love at all. This false sense, but from it is very difficult to get rid of.

2. The loss of confidence not only to the one who betrayed him, but to people in general. All of this is understandable. You have invested in these relationships all your heart, all your soul. Your feelings and intentions are absolutely pure. In return you will receive a betrayal. How can we continue to trust people? If a loved one did you like this, then what to talk about other people?

3. Depression and "withdrawal into oneself." It is clear that in order to recover from this kind of situation, it will take time. But after many betrayals plunge into a prolonged depression, which may sooner or later begin to destroy their identity. This may also include alcohol dependency as a way to "get away from all the problems." Recipes protection against treachery does not exist in principle. Do not think that if your behavior is impeccable, you will never encounter this phenomenon. The concept of "integrity" for each person is a relative, so the risk of betrayal will be maintained at all times.

Man Betrayed, passes through the next few steps:

1 phase of acute pain. In each case, its duration will be purely individual. At this point you realize even vaguely, what happened to you, but clearly realize - you betrayed. All the colors of life instantly pales against the background of your hurt and pain. You are no one would like to chat. You do not wonder. You need to be with him and to "digest" all the things that happened to you.

How to survive the pain of betrayal?

2. Phase resentment. You will have already realized that the phrase "acted ugly," well, does not reflect the essence of what happened to you. You have there an insult to the one who betrayed you. Some people have grievances phase is accompanied by a feeling of hatred. More recently, you want that person is only good, but today you would like to see it gone through the same emotional pain that you are.

3. Phase humility. You are already fully aware of and accepted the situation. At this stage, you are able to forgive the offender, if you think that it can be given another chance. If he is not worthy of this chance, you will gradually prepare themselves to the fact that this person will be removed from your life. Forever.

4. Phase indifference. If you choose not to forgive the offender, then at the stage of indifference to him your feelings will gradually cool down until completely extinguished. Your peace of mind will be restored in due course. In fact, all of the above steps are "ideal" solution to the crisis caused by the betrayal of a loved one. A man with a healthy psyche is able to go through all of them for 2-3 months.

How to survive the pain of betrayal?

But this is not always the case. Often, instead of the stage of humility and indifference of people can go to the stage of anger and depression. And find a way out of her depression, he can now only with the help of a qualified therapist. To this did not happen, it is useful to remember this:

1. Stop thinking in the subjunctive mood. Remember that the past will not return. At that moment, when you mentally squander events back and trying to present options for the development of the situation in different scenarios of your behavior, you did not save yourself from heartache. You simply overclocking your brain at full force, causing it to run at idle. You even can not imagine how much energy goes into your feelings about that, "what would have happened if I had done (a) otherwise?". Being under stress, your body is already experiencing energy shortages. So is it worth it to be scattered?

2. Do not fix your mind on the fact of the betrayal. This will take you only to bitterness and depression. Remember that from your point of view, the behavior of a loved one can never be called a rational and logical. Therefore, the more you think about why you did so, and not otherwise, the more you will accumulate negativity and aggression. And your energy will again go into the "black hole" of your grievance.

3. Do not look for the guilty. Do not blame yourself around, but do not try to put all the responsibility on the person close to you. "Truth" search will throw you back and would only undermine the already shattered nervous system. The faster you will be able to accept this situation, the sooner you get up on the road to recovery.

How to survive the pain of betrayal?

4. Turn their attention to something else. It is easy to say and hard to do. But remember, for sure you had one or two ideas that you would like to realize, but it postponed? Now is the time to acquire new knowledge, to expand the circle of friends, to change the situation in the apartment, and so on. N. If you decide to break off relations with a loved one, you take care of that out of your field of vision disappeared his photographs, his stuff and generally any items that you are constantly reminded of it. After separation, remove it from the social networks and stop track it accounts. Agree that it is obvious. But many (especially women) for some reason, are very fond of "poison his soul," shedding tears, looking at his picture, and remember how good it was before.

Those who managed to survive the treachery and does not break - a strong personality. Anyone who could not only break, but also learn a valuable lesson - a person spiritually mature.

Should not be regarded as a betrayal of absolute evil. Everything is relative in this complex world. human soul is purified and rises, passing through sorrow and suffering. For many it is the only way to get better.

Take care of your loved ones!