Deal with their phobias
According to the WHO, half of the adult population suffers from fears that interfere with normal life (for example, 40% of us feel stress during each airfare, 22% - in the treatment at the dentist), and 12% having a phobia - the sudden and paralyzing the will of fear (person simply can not get on a plane and go to the doctor's office). * Thrill, a feeling of complete insecurity, terror cover some of us to the ramp, in front of the closed (or open) space, alone or, if necessary, public speaking ... These emotions (uncontrollable at first glance) poison everyday life. But they are not fatal - phobia can not be controlled, but you can get rid of it or significantly weaken its effect.
Consider a situation in which the car alarm is triggered. Someone opens the machine, and hear a sound - loud enough to be heard, but not deafening to human ears. Alarm works as much as you need to pay attention to it, but the owner can disable it and. Faulty same alarm will be uncomfortable and useless - will be triggered too often sound too loud and long ...
Phobia in adults - it is a problem that requires assistance, and the child - a risk for its development. "Children every day something to learn, and morbid fear of depriving them of opportunities to develop new", - says psychiatrist and psychotherapist Helena Wrona. Phobias can manifest themselves at an early age, but most often in adolescence. If a child complains of fear, you can not shame him or laugh at him; it is not necessary and seek with him in the closet or under the bed, frightening his "monsters". "Keep it, play with it - advises Elena Wrona. - And because of his fears of a better deal with a specialist. " Fear operates similarly. He also indicates that something is going wrong. Natural fear draws our attention to the danger. Painful as fear, like a broken alarm, excessive, unjustified and pointless. "Often it is manifested" strange "behavior in the most unexpected moment - explains the cognitive psychologist Alex Lunkov. - A person can "numb" in a harmless conversation, or run out of the room, noticing the wallpaper spider ... "" You can not not explain the power of this fear, nor suppress my fear, - says psychotherapist Margaret Zhamkochyan. - A lack of clarity is always strengthens the panic. " Man leads irresistible irrational desire to avoid the feared situation or object (or even talk about it). This unrelenting fear panic, leading to irrational behavior, and have a phobia (from the Greek word "Phobos" - the horror).
The passive reaction
Fear - a natural reaction to danger - real or imagined. By itself, it does not create serious difficulties, on the contrary, allows you to react to a dangerous situation it is reasonable for us. (For example, a professional climber at high altitude is behaving cautiously, but his fears did not prevent him from moving toward the target.)
Passive PHOBIA: A person does not seeks ways to getting rid of their own fears - he just ... scared.
All natural fears cause us to be proactive, as phobias - Passive: the person is not looking for ways to get rid of his fear, he is afraid. "At this point, a rational fear of getting out of control, feelings and emotions are no longer controlled by the co-knowledge, - adds Alex Lunkov. - Phobia - is obsessive morbid condition not related to the real danger, but occurs whenever a person is faced with a frightening situation. At the same time his whole life is subordinated to one thing: "If only I did not encounter this." Most often, phobias associated with animals, natural elements and phenomena (depth, height, darkness, storm ...), transport, blood and wounds, social situations (views, opinions ...) and stay in public places. There are many phobias associated with the body: the fear of choking, falling, fear of nausea ...
Relaxation and "incentives ladder"
Irrational fear causes muscle tone, so it is important to be able to relax. "Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps those who suffer from phobias, learn relaxation techniques - meditation, auditory training, - says Alexey Lunkov. - then the client together with the therapist is disturbing its hierarchy situations: for example, when arachnophobia weakest stimulus may be the word "spider", written on paper, and the most powerful - spider sitting on palm. Gradually moving up the "ladder of incentives" from the weakest to the strongest (with the help of a specialist or your own), and using relaxation techniques in moments with that frightening, you can tame your fear. " Some arachnophobia, for example, even hesitant in the treatment of the final ... a kiss on the back of a large tarantula!
---------------------------------------- * P. Sidorov, A. Parnyakov "Clinical psychology". GEOTAR MED-2002.
The inequality between men and women
Women suffering from phobias, two times more than men. ** Researchers studying the psychology of the person at different stages of evolution, believe that such a situation has developed largely due to the traditional division of responsibilities. American sociologists Takott Parsonc and Robert Bales (Takott Parsons, Robert Bales) put forward the hypothesis that many gender differences are explained by the "instrumentality" of male behavior and "expressive" female ***. Hunting, herding, fishing - once the main occupations of the men were associated with the risk and the danger, but an irrational fear would make them simply overwhelming. Woman, homemakers and upbringing of the children, on the other hand, had to be very careful, pay attention to the danger which threatened the loss of children and family.
That is not true!
This technique is similar to the game but a phobia is afraid of such games. Therapist or friend who wants to help you part with unconscious fear rises on your point of view and tells you why it is necessary to be afraid, for example, flying. Try to convince him, saying: "That's not true!" - and the resulting counter-argument to his every utterance. After several conversations own feelings at the thought of flying will cause you a pleasant surprise, fear, overwhelmed by your own arguments, it will be much less.
This distribution of gender-specific (as features of education for boys and girls) was maintained in most societies. "As a result, modern girls, girls are very sensitive to the fears of their parents and loved ones, they are thinner recognize the emotions of others, more easily infected by fear, - says Margarita Zhamkochyan. - In addition, today's parents are tolerant to the fears of his daughters and the desire to encourage the sons are not afraid of danger. "
On the other hand, man's desire to deal with the difficulties of their own influence on the statistics: a woman suffering from phobias, often seek help, and many men prefer to suffer and do not come to the attention of specialists.
How does a person acquires a phobia? "The basis of this experience, especially biological, - says Alexei Lunkov - as some people are genetically predisposed to panic. (As a rule, they are hypersensitive and emotional state.) From the point of view of psychology, this their inherent feature can be enhanced (or, on the contrary, extinguished) education and taking place in their life events. "
On the development of phobias affect social factor: the new realities of life, certain social situations and strengthen (or weaken) our susceptibility to exaggerated fears. So, phobias associated with land or air transport, today it is much more, but we go and we are flying more often than 20-30 years ago. "Sometimes phobias arise from a strong fear (often a child), - says Margarita Zhamkochyan. - Flash (such as a dog barking), instant fear response ... and harmless animal has perceived a threatening monster. "
Our fears can be treated, sometimes surprisingly quickly. A phobia? This uncontrolled hyper-emotional reaction occurs only in certain situations (in the same way as the allergy is the immune sverhreaktivnostyu in response to a specific allergen). To get rid of this dependence, it is necessary to artificially induce reflex sudden fear: co-knowingness put themselves in frightening situations, getting used to them, and gradually increasing exposure to precipitating factors. (This technique is similar to the treatment of allergy: are gradually getting used to the allergen and at the same time reducing the sensitivity to it.) For example, to stop being afraid of pigeons, you must first get used to the image of the bird in the photo, then train yourself to look at a pigeon in a cage, and then go to the flock of pigeons in a park ...
ceases FEAR his fear, the beginning refers to it quietly - I understand, respond to overcome.
The aim of psychotherapy - it is not freedom from phobias, fear and the introduction in the natural framework: it should be adequate and controlled. Often those who suffer from some kind of phobia, begin to "be afraid of fear itself." And exercise "addiction to fear" (in conjunction with relaxation techniques) help to learn to accept it as inevitable. Having ceased to be afraid of your fear, you can start to treat it calmly - to understand respond and overcome.
----------------------------------- ** M. Craske "Origins of Phobias and Anxiety Disorders". Elsevier, 2003; E. Ilyin "Differential psychophysiology of men and women." Peter 2006. *** M. Butovska "power, sex, and reproductive success." Century 2, 2005.
4 steps to stop his phobia
1. Do not submit to their fears.
Excessive fears restrict our freedom and can enslave us: "Do not go out, do not come near, do not say anything about ..." The more you obey them, the stronger they will become. Treat intense fear as uninvited illegally invading a guest and you will learn to understand what you want (be free), and what he wants phobia (you enslave).
2. Think about the cause of your fear and move on to action.
It is always useful to know where are our fears. But the search for reasons to devote all their time and energy is not necessary. Find the strength to directly collide with the object of your fear.
3. Learn to relax and meditate.
Exercise regularly, during which you train to make your own. Project an example, an imaginary movie screen frightening situation - zoom in and out "image". Look at yourself from the outside, not forgetting that you are in a safe and secure situation. Complete the "view" the most routine action for you, which you often do at home: start reading, wash dishes, drink a cup of tea.
4. Do not stop their efforts.
Excessive fears tend to talk about increased emotional sensitivity. This is a positive, because it is not necessary to deal with them ruthlessly. Get used to frightening situations you gradually, with the possibility of consulting a therapist.
"Understand that healing really"
Psychologies: Anxiety and Phobia - whether they relate to each other?
Helena Wrona: In today's world there are many diseases that humanity is paying for the development of civilization, and the phobia of them. Life becomes more intense, and anxiety, as a natural defense mechanism that warns us of the dangers and causes to act - to flee or join the fight. Anxiety is necessary for survival, but it is, as a rule, and triggers a phobia. That is, the human alarm eventually will develop a phobia?
"fears and phobias", BBC, 2002. Even the most innocuous at first glance, fear can turn into a phobia, which will change all our lives. with BBC film tells about the nature of our fears and how to overcome them.
No, no fatal susceptibility to this is not even among those who have been born a little more disturbing than others. But the constant disturbing background can be a risk factor, but in special circumstances disrupt routine life. One of my patients indefinitely locked the apartment door, dozens of times going back and checking the lock. For the time being, he coped with his anxiety until he had to take exams while in high school and get a prestigious job. The importance of the interview he was late for work and could not be arranged. It was at this time a feature of its constitution - increased anxiety - turned into a disease.
How to behave when faced with a phobia?
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You have to understand that healing from a phobia really. Possible psychotherapeutic care, drug therapy, and their combination. Here is one of the most effective psychotherapeutic exercise: in a moment of panic to remember a state where you were happy when you were very good, nice, fun. Recall up to sensations up to pose and try to immerse ourselves this state. Completely get rid of the phobia is impossible, but with the help of a specialist can be curbed, to weaken its influence and power over her own - in this case, you can learn to cope with their fears and not let it bother you to live life to the fullest.