Today in Western culture has formed the human ideal, which is almost alien to the feeling as anger: it is soft, polite, and if dissatisfied with something, it is able to control his emotions. However, the anger, that we do not allow external expression, turns inward on ourselves, which can cause high blood pressure or other psychosomatic symptoms.
The ubiquity of depression in western society experts, in particular, is associated with tradition and anger suppression.
The manifestations of this emotion is wiser to accept, learning to control them. For a long time it was popular a tool such as the discharge of excitation in a socially acceptable form of: children - active games, their parents - practical means of resolving emotional stress like cheap dishwashing whipping. But experiments conducted in the 60 years *, have shown that if you give people the opportunity to otdubasil inflatable toys or smash something to pieces, their desire to take revenge on the real offenders does not decrease. It has been proven that the feelings can not be put in an arbitrary direction. They have a well-defined orientation, and deceive yourself by burning effigy of a superior does not succeed.
Accept your emotions, learn to express them in a constructive, non-aggressive manner
In recent years, the idea of anger management is becoming increasingly popular. On this subject a lot out of books and television programs, are offered special training, after which the anger becomes a "constructive and manageable." New psychological practice emphasizes the positive aspects of anger. "It's perfectly natural, healthy human emotion, which increases the power of man and helps us to fight, defend and attack in a situation of danger, - says American psychologist Charles Shpilberger (Charles D. Spielberger), one of the founders of anger management techniques. - If a person does not feel angry, he probably would not have survived in the course of evolution. "** Important in anger management technique - not getting rid of the emotions, and the ability to express them in a constructive and non-aggressive manner. If your friend is late on a regular basis, there is an option to chastise him ( "You're always late!"), Which will cause any excuses stream or reciprocal rudeness.
In any case, the meeting will be spoiled. And you can just describe my feelings at the time of waiting: "You know, with every minute that I was here, I was more boil with anger." This phrase, too, will give him to understand that he is wrong, but its advantage is that you do not attack, but konstatiruete. This statement does not lead to an escalation of an argument, a person to express their feelings, it becomes easier.
* A. Bandura "Social Learning through Imitation". University of Nebraska Press, 1962. ** The National Anger Management Association: http://namass.org.