Modern children from wealthy families have what their counterparts two decades ago could only dream of: expensive toys, good clothes, a separate room ... To ensure all this, parents tend to have a lot and work hard. But instead of the expected thanks to them all increasingly faced with the protest, misunderstanding, irritation on the part of the grown son or daughter. "Difficult age" - sigh resignedly parents, once again, going to work.
Of course, age also has an effect. But he is not alone. I think these moms and dads would be very surprised to learn that the problems of the well-dressed, well-groomed and fed delicious children - many of the same as that of the orphan, growing up without parents and does sometimes in very difficult living conditions.
It is these children constitute the main range of my players, and communicating with them, I always make sure: the physical loss of parents (alcoholics, dead or just throw a son or daughter to fend for themselves), and loss of contact with their children are perceived almost equally. Every day while remaining under the care of a nanny or grandmother, without feeling an emotional connection with her father and mother, the child feels the same as a child, in fact, who lost his family: he also suffers from loneliness and rejection, also blames himself for what happened He feels his own inadequacy ( "others love, and I - no!"). However, if a teenager who lives in an orphanage, difficult life circumstances are forced to fight for life, the well-off children to fight against their parents - at least in this way they are trying to get their attention and interest to achieve ourselves.
lost contact with their parents or losing them physically - these events children perceive almost the same
Of course, we love our children - sometimes just a way to show their feelings, they do not understand. We, adults, material goods, which we ourselves have often been deprived of as a child and who is now so generously of their children, seem to be an adequate equivalent of love. But the child - at any age - in the first place to just live communication with parents: this is where he draws confidence, it builds their self-esteem through it formulates its own identity and values.
It is not necessary to be a perfectionist - to establish or maintain contact with the child, we do not have to give up a career and stay with him as long as he will not start their own family. Give son or daughter for ten minutes in the morning and an hour in the evening - just seventy minutes of warm, trusting and natural communication in order to in the future, they were able to appreciate what we have given them, and intelligently take advantage of this and continue our work - or find their own no less important and fascinating.