"He came home drunk"

"Your child first drank a bottle of beer? Try to hold back and talk about it later with a fresh mind "- suggests psychologist Andrew Podolsky age *.

"He disconnected answers to your questions, looks away and leaves a room on the road to trail alcoholic vapors ... The situation is familiar to us often in two ways: first, with the position of a teenager, and now - adult. Parents first drunken teenager is puzzling ( "How it happened - he (she) only 13 (14)?"), Fear ( "What if he sopetsya?"), Resentment and anger ( "We have invested in him so much effort, and here is the result! "). Few of us at this moment ready to take the first bottle as an attribute of growing up.

For teenagers beer - this is an important means of socialization, an easy way to become a home among new acquaintances, "show off" classmates, and finally, the ability to feel like an adult.

It is not necessary to scold the child, screaming at him, let alone physically punished. It is unlikely that in this state it can hold the logical connection between your discontent and their condition. Rather, it is established in agreement that you are "against him" and that "no one knows" just friends. Do not waste your strength on the conversation - just help your child recover. Encourage your child to eat, lay in bed - it should feel your care. For a teenager it is also a new experience - it is the first time experiencing unusual inner state: a mixture of euphoria and physical ailments, self-reduction and a sense of shame. And how this experience will be lived through - together or in confrontation with you - depends on the child's behavior in the future, and a willingness to trust you. The conversation also needs a fresh mind. But, choosing a tone that admitted to the family - from the friendly ironic ( "So good were you", "Sorry, you did not see myself from the outside") to hard-critical, - evaluate the actions of a teenager, not his personality . Explain calmly and patiently, that beer is only one (and not the most important) attribute of adulthood that growing bodies are doubly prone to alcohol addiction and that ignorance of the measures may distort even the best of intentions. Be prepared to repeat it several times. " * Andrew Podolsky - Doctor of Psychology, Professor of Moscow State University. MV Lomonosov Moscow State University, co-author (along with A. and L. Idobaevoy Idobaevym) "A teenager in the modern world. Psychologist Notes "(Caro, 2007).