Our experience through the eyes of Buddha
The main ideas
- Get rid of that care. Hate dependence, arrogance - make us suffer.
- Take control of an emotional outburst. Self-discipline, meditation and prudence will help you not to lose self-control.
- Love should not be selfish. Love without dependence free from the traps of greed and jealousy that destroy relationships.
"The main purpose of our lives - happiness. It is obvious. No matter who we are - atheists or believers, Buddhists or Christians, we are all looking for something better in life. Thus, in my opinion, the main movement in our lives - the movement of happiness "* But in order to get rid of suffering and attain happiness, which says the Dalai Lama, Buddhism offers own recipe.. He is, to separate themselves from their own emotions, and thus get rid of their power. After all, anger, fear, jealousy is not only painful for those at whom they are directed, but also destroy those who experience them. For twenty-five centuries before the advent of modern psychology, the Buddha drew the attention of his disciples the fact that everything that happens to us in itself is neither bad nor good. Only we ourselves - our minds - perceive events and acts as a happy or sad, hurtful or inspire us. Not have to be Buddhist to benefit from the wisdom of the Buddhist approach to the emotions: to understand their causes, to pay attention to their expressions and try to control them.
1. Avoid the five "mind poison"
In Buddhism, there is no concept equivalent to our "emotions." Faced with Western notions about emotions, some Tibetan teachers have become used as the translation the phrase "tskhor Myong" (which literally means "the experience of the senses"). But this term has yet to take root. In Buddhism, there is the important concept of "klesa" - a Sanskrit word "suffering", "affect" or "clouding". It includes five senses prevent us, or "mind poisons": passion, aggression, ignorance, pride, and envy. All of them put us off balance, complicate the thinking and cause suffering. Buddha's idea that all people initially have enlightened nature - calm, joyful, compassionate, but, under the influence of the "bottoms", that is "dirty" state of mind, they fall into a vicious circle: anger creates a sense of guilt, fault causes anxiety, and that - angry again. To break this cycle, you need to understand the cause of the "primary" emotions.
It all starts with the fact that we are too attached to him and his desires. We want to get what we like, and get rid of what is causing the discomfort. And when the reality does not meet our expectations, there are confusion, annoyance or lack of energy, which later give rise to negative emotional reaction and indiscriminate. And the actions for which we are pushing these reactions generate more suffering in ourselves and around us. For the Buddhist way out of this situation lies in the meditation.
What we are accustomed to thinking of positive emotions, not a flared. And the purpose of Buddhism is not an absolute control over all the emotions, and the cessation of suffering. In his book "The Art of Happiness," the Dalai Lama explains it this way: "Mental Health - it's not apathy. This is not a complete detachment and emptiness. The basis of mental equilibrium - love and compassion. This state characterized by emotion and sensitivity. "
2. Do not wind up with a half-turn
Beautiful or painful our feeling is not so important, if we do not follow them unconditionally, like a dog running on the trail of the owner. But our emotional reactions often unawareness, we plant at the slightest resistance, the slightest difficulty. When someone we objected, our first reaction may be anger, and we are starting to get angry; in the future, if we are unforgiving, we may be tempted to take revenge. But look at it another way: Is fury that for a moment, I will dwell in the human, and there is this man? Definitely not. And yet I'm angry at him, without distinguishing between the person and his rage. My hostility toward human - transient feeling, the answer to the situation. I am myself of this hostility? Of course not. But, feeling the hatred, we get used to it, we begin to consider it as an integral part of himself. This is the source of our problems, our sufferings.
I'm not responsible for the actions of others, and can not control them, but I take full responsibility for the way he react, and nothing obliges me to respond to aggression aggression. Our task - to distance themselves from their emotional habits through meditation and self-discipline and malopomalu free from the harmful effects of our passions.
What will meditation
Meditation - is first of all give yourself a little time, setting aside worries, turn our gaze inward, into his consciousness.
And what is there - confusion in the mind, leading to emotional excitement? The first attempts to observe the emotions will lead to the inevitable discovery: I depend on my mind, and my condition - those thoughts that arise in it. What to do? One of the easiest ways - focus on the breaths (or in the figure, a flower, a candle flame) and return to the object of attention every time you divert any thought or external interference. Gradually the mind will begin to calm down and become more clear. Now, focus, start to watch what thoughts or emotions you show up: simply mark their presence, without trying either discard them or manage them, otherwise you will just begin to feed them to your attention. If you can save the state of calm, compassionate observation, emotions will dissipate naturally, like a wave back into the ocean, from which rose. In this state, easy to make another discovery: I - it's not my emotions. As a result, they gradually lose their power over you and your consciousness becomes more free, clear and calm. AG
3. Do not suppress, but dissipate
The problem is not the emotions, and the exaggerated importance that we attach to them. Exaggerating the emotion, we only strengthen it. And those emotions with which we identify ourselves, leave a trace in the mind, which in the future could adversely affect our reaction is "karmic connection" emotions are responsible for our future suffering.
Buddhism does not call us to suppress emotions, block negative thoughts or artificially ravage the mind. Meditation aims to transform the enormous psychic energy inherent in our anger or despair, in joy and compassion - not less intense. But before we can carry out this transformation, we must learn to give their thoughts space and quietly watching them. So we let the emotions come out, to show themselves and disperse, leaving no traces of traumatic. Meditate - it means to be natural, that has nothing to do with the violent repression of emotions.
4. Do not confuse love and affection
Affection generate suffering, making us believe that we always keep the object of our desire or love. But sooner or later we will have to part with this error. The stronger was our affection, the more suffering from the loss of that love.
The reason is that we often confuse love and affection. Love, as it is commonly perceived to be almost always associated with a sense of ownership: my child belongs to me as well as my scarf. And just as I expect that I will warm scarf, I expect from the child, that it will meet my requirements. But this is not true love!
In fact, in this case, love is a projection of our problems and the means to assert itself. Only when love is free from the constraints imposed by our ego and selfishness, it becomes an impartial and disinterested, and can accept all beings without distinction. Buddhism does not speak of "indifference", which would mean the rejection, rejection. We are talking about the absence of dependence. There is nothing wrong with the human love - only through it, our hearts may open to the world, but we must try not to fall into the network of greed and jealousy, which in the end destroy us and our relationship.
* His Holiness the Dalai Lama and G. Cutler, "The Art of Happiness". Sofia 2007.
- "Healing emotions. Conversations with the Dalai Lama about awareness, emotions and health "DEKOM, 2004.
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, "The Art of Happiness at Work" Sofia, 2005.
- Pema Chodron "Where is terrible" Gayatri, 2005.