"Let the new year, my parents ..."
First, we applied to adults: "What do you think you are, what your child wish?" And many in response to lowered his eyes, embarrassed or hesitant to suggest any changes it would like their children to their mothers and fathers in the coming year. Then we talked to the children themselves - and all spoke differently. Teens (when there is an opportunity to speak up without parents) answered the question confidently, without hesitation. Those who are younger, it was difficult to talk, but they are very precisely formulated its main idea. Following the results of the interview, to the question "Do you want to know what (s) he said (a)," almost all of the parents answered, "Thank you, we are better then ... will read ... will see ..." This confusion is easy to understand, but you can be sure: particular reason for it was not in the children's words. Even despite the fact that the child with the seven-eight years of age ceases to perceive their parents as ideal and all-powerful people: children notice our mistakes, shortcomings and are ready to call them ... What do they want? The smallest are in need of a sense of security, those who are older - in freedom, and almost all - in the attention and trust ... And do you have any suggestion that it was your child would answer such a question? Try setting it to their children, and for sure you will be able to learn more about them ... and, of course, about himself, too.
to communicate with each other
Varia, 10 years "I would like to see in the new year, my parents are talking to each other and to me. The problem is that we seem to have a lot of time together, but little contact, even though we have a lot of common topics for discussion: art, music, computer, and all sorts of new technology. And my dad is too hygiene - even a pet cat can not be with him! "
Lisa, age 8 "I want to make in the new year the parents have more money! They have not that a little, but not very much. I want to have the pope was more money than my mother, and he would buy her presents and everything like that. We could go on a treasure island, or to Disneyland. Yes, and I would have bought them some toys. "
Margarita, 14 years old, "Mom and Dad are divorced, but I almost did not want to change in the Pope - we are friends, but want to see my mother stopped constantly telling me that she was an excellent student, that everything is done faster and better , than me. I want her to respect me, I will myself to learn from their mistakes, even if she knows better what I need. "
Will more modern
Manija, 14 years old "My parents are too conservative outlook on life. They do not always adequately respond to those things that today are considered quite normal - go to clubs, to meet with the boys ... I would want parents to understand that we live in a different time, because they are educated and intelligent people " .
There will be next!
Leva, 4 years "I want them to not go to work, and have always been at home. And I put my cartoons. And to watch them with me. I also want us all to go to California to race in "Cars."
Do not get sick!
Peace, 6 years old, "When mom or dad get sick, they are boring, even do not read us, particularly if a sore throat. They sit at computers - each for their - or watching a movie. They also work on something important missing and so angry. Let the new year really stop aching! And sorry for them. "
Vasya, 11 years, "Last year my mother and father were more likely to quarrel with each other. They often do not understand each other, and they fail to end the conflict quickly. When I was little, I did not notice because the quarrel, and now I'm worried about them and tried very hard to reconcile. To be honest, I'm a little sick of it! "
Tasia, 9 years old, "I want to in the next year, my parents finally ceased to be annoyed at us because of trifles, and most importantly, to less screaming - to me it is always unpleasant and annoying. Then, they can, and listen, but it all starts with a shout. "
Pasha, 13 years, "Dad works too much and does little to help her mother. I wish he had not worked so hard in the next year, and my mother not scolded him for it, and not often traveled on business trips. We could spend more time together, but even on a weekend dad is working at home, almost not walk with me and my brother. It hurts".
Do not worry
Akim, 12 years old "I wish Mom and Dad spend more time on themselves, not us. But they constantly worry: for studies, long walks, our future. They scared worried what I'll be when I grow up. Although they know that I am learning a lot and I'm going to be a lawyer! I hope that now, when I became an adult, they will be less for me to worry about. "
Do not be sad
Bob, age 7 "When something happens, my mother was not angry, and sad, sometimes even a little cry. Pope tries not to show your mood, but it is immediately obvious: he was a gay man, and became sad. My sister and I are trying to change this, they draw a funny picture or come up with something else. I want them to not be sad next year. "
"They are amazingly accurately articulate the essence of"
At our request, children's wishes commented Tatiana Bednik, developmental psychology, the author of the training "Effective interaction of parents with children." "Their words say that children do not lose our sight, and most importantly, a surprisingly articulate what their concerned. Some (as both Basil) very sad when parents quarrel and hurt each other, they unconsciously take the blame for the quarrel in the family for yourself and try to improve the situation: "Sister of fun"; "I try to reconcile them." In the children's statements reflected what is happening in our society, "the pope is too much work, even on weekends" (Pasha); "Money to them more" (Lisa). At any age, children are sensitive to injustice, "it would be better heard, before shouting", "respect me" (Tasia and Margarita). Teenagers insist that their parents are less controlled and more trusted them (Akim). Kids really need not quantitatively but qualitatively, "on" communication (Loew, Peace and Varia). We often think that children do not feel and do not understand our feelings, but it is certainly not true: children are not only all - feel and notice, but also willing to tell us about it. "