We used to think that women are more emotional than men, thinner, more sensitive, more sensitive. Is it really?
As we look to the side or study capacity for empathy, empathy, understanding other people's feelings, women justify cultural stereotypes. However, at the level of physiology (measured galvanic skin response) sexual differences quite small. In fact, men are less emotional by nature, just their emotions arise in other situations, and are expressed differently.
If you ask a man what he feels, he would rather talk about what I think many people do not even notice the difference
Why is there this difference? Let's start with the fact that mothers in different ways to express their feelings for girls and boys, both in word and (especially) touches: daughters embrace and even touch them much more frequently, thereby giving them greater emotional warmth. And responding to emotional expressions in boys and girls differently. According to different surveys, parents consider girls more emotional beings and discuss their experiences more *.
Boys, in turn, strongly pressed by demanding never cry, but the manifestations of anger they perceive more tolerant than the daughters. Learned in childhood masculinity ideology leads to fear not only of openly "unmanly" emotions such as fear, anxiety, or tenderness, but also any situation where there is a risk of losing self-control. Oddly enough, well assimilated masculine behaviors adults often want to get rid of the stereotype of masculinity, which prevents them to live and to build relationships. And those to whom these stereotypes do not fit, are forced to pretend to exaggerate the one and deny the other senses. Excessive suppression of emotions in men may even lead to alexithymia - the loss of contact with their own inner world, a complete inability to recognize and call experienced by himself and others emotions. Another aspect of this problem - self-control difficulties, lethargy, poor emotional vocabulary. If you ask a man what he feels, he would rather tell you what he thinks; Many boys do not even notice the difference between these issues. We should teach the boys that emotional courage - the courage to do it.
Enrich their emotional vocabulary, especially when it comes to such "forbidden" emotions such as fear and anxiety. Help them to recognize the feelings of others and to express their feelings freely. The simple phrase "I got scared, and you?" Help reconcile the boy with his own emotions. And, becoming a man, he will feel happier, having access to all aspects of their own "I". Including their feelings.
* N. Eisenberg, R. Fabes, T. Spinrad "Prosocial Development" in W. Damon, R. Lerner, N. Eisenberg (eds.) "Handbook of Child Psychology", Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2006 vol. 3.