Equal or different?
to quarrel one step and make it
sometimes it is very easy to ...
Imagine a banal family scene. He returns home after a hard day. She cooks dinner in a very bad mood. "Why did you come so late?" - "What do you think? What I'm having some fun? For whom I, do you think I work? As well tired of living with a woman, that every time I come home, sitting with disaffected mine. " - "And what am I, in your opinion, do not work?"
On both sides of the growing irritation, and each reacts to the attacks of the other mirror: the irony of irony is responsible for hostility - hostility, at rage - rage. The quest for equality - is a great principle of the marital relationship, but it creates competition, competition, struggle. The danger is rooted in competition not only in the sphere of responsibilities, as in setting the most agonizing questions: who is more invested in the life of couples, who is the best parent, who attaches great importance to sex - in general, the highest and best loved ...
The viability of the pair depends on how easy it is transferred from one type of relationship to another
Since ancient times, the marital relationship based on the principle of complementarity. All engage in certain prescribed public places in the hierarchy and worked out different, but adapted to each other styles of behavior. Everyone agrees the place of the other, rules and roles have been fixed, the couple equally evaluated their relationship. Today, couples are looking for a way to complement each other, which would correspond to their internal aspirations and would be different from the lifestyle of their parents and grandparents. They constantly oscillate between this need and the desire to be different symmetry. Symmetrical relations are based on equality, and if the partners are quarreling because of the location next vacation or scattered shoes, they are actually trying to find out the role and place of each of the pair. Such relationships are unstable, but are able to develop; these couples develop their own rules.
There may be other relationships when partners meet (or pretend that they correspond to) traditional functions: the man is the protector and female child, motherly caring wife and windy husband. Such relations are stable, but are not well suited for development. Viability pairs depends on how easy it is transferred from one embodiment to another.
And whether it will be able to abandon the conflict to begin negotiations. The rigid attachment to one of the types of behavior destroys relationships, creating constant conflict - or, conversely, lifeless and monotonous environment.