How to talk to children about terrorism ...
Security own life. Over the past ten years, we have lost that feeling. Almost every week brings with it the anniversary of the terrorist attack, which chronicles the media again and again reduced with frightening details. Sad calendar keeps growing: information about new bombings or hostage-taking hits in each house where the TV is running a radio or a computer connected to the Internet. Fully protect children by her is impossible, and hardly needs: depriving them of the right to know about what is happening around, we risk not only to create their distorted view of the world, but also put their lives at potential risk.
Psychologies: The children have to grow up in an unsafe world. As disturbing realities of our day affect them?
Elena Morozova: The child, as an adult, to live in a troubled world seriously: frightening information makes us keenly feel their own vulnerability, some are beginning to be afraid of reality, hiding from her. However, the issue of children and adolescents is even more acute: they have a vital need for impetus to the development, the source of which is the outside world. If the world begins to be perceived only as the center of the threat, all the cognitive powers of the child will be spent not on knowledge and comprehension of reality, and to be protected from it. Fear of reality can become an obstacle in the way they grow and develop.
Which children are most sensitive information? E. M .: The greatest harm can cause TV news. The child is difficult to ignore the video and recognize the border between what he sees on the screen, and their daily lives. Therefore, in a particularly acute moments you should not watch the TV program information with the children. Shortly after the "Nord-Ost", many parents complained that children were disturbed sleep and appetite, there were night terrors. These children were witnesses or victims of the terrorist attack - they just watched the developments on television and became their secondary victims.
The mind against fear
It is important to make it clear to your child that the terrorists is not enough - far less than ordinary people, said Alexander Wenger. And their actions are aimed not at him.
"The child is important to explain that in order to intimidate us, terrorists choose specific date and place, and in fact the number of people who are suffering as a result of bombings or hostage-taking, is not comparable with the number of those who die, for example, in car accidents. But while no one is afraid to ride in the car or on the bus. If we are reasonable people, then tacked on and not sit in the car to a drunk driver. In other words, well, if the child as early as possible aware of the need to observe certain rules for their own safety, and in most cases, this principle works against terrorists. "
And if the attack occurred not in Russia, but, say, in the United States?
Alexander Wenger: There is a direct correlation between the geography of the attacks and the number of secondary victims. The closer to our home event occurs, the greater the psychological effect produced by them: so after the "Nord-Ost" number of secondary victims in Moscow was much more than that after the Beslan events. However, this rule applies only in relation to adults, if we are talking about children, then for them is not so important exactly where the attack occurred - this information is always perceived painfully. The likelihood of becoming an eyewitness to the terrorist attack is still relatively small. Do I need to prepare the child for such a possibility?
E. M .: The child needs to know the algorithm behavior in any dangerous situation - whether it's a fire or a terrorist attack. Practical skills will help to feel more confident when meeting with the danger. In addition, it is important that the child understood that almost any difficult situation there is a way: this knowledge is very mobilized. Another important point - set up to help the child, including emotional, to those who were near. It distracts from their own experiences, fear and creates an atmosphere of community.
At what point should start such a conversation?
E. M .: It makes no sense to load it with redundant information, ahead of the event. But if the child came into contact with them (for example, I saw the news report, devoted to the terrorist attack), this conversation is needed. It is better to answer specific questions - the child tells himself that it is now important to learn.
A. .: Well, if the event will be the subject of a family discussion. The child realizes that he is not alone and that worries adults, sharing his feelings, nevertheless belong to this situation calmly and efficiently. It should take into account the peculiarities of the age: under five children barely able to comprehend what terror. Therefore, we can not share in the conversation concepts such as "terrorism" and "war". We can say, for example: 'Bad people staged a war. " For children six to nine years, a detailed explanation may be too redundant, so it is in the game to discuss what action in an emergency will be right, and what - no, focusing attention on the practical side of things. E. M .: Other business teenagers: they already have a sense of responsibility for themselves and for others, but because they need to understand what is happening. With a child 11-15 years of talking about the reasons and purposes of terrorism and the different forms of attacks. The teenager is able to make their own decisions, so it is important to pronounce the different strategies and behavior in case of a direct clash with the terrorists.
What advice would you give to parents who want to keep a positive attitude to the world of children?
E. M .: In my opinion, adults especially should pay attention to yourself. After all, we unknowingly infect their own fears of their children. Understand that you are worried about and analyze their attitude to what is happening. If you manage to cope with their anxieties, it may very well be that other efforts from you and do not need: the child out of thin air absorbs a positive outlook on the world and learn to enjoy life - no matter what.
Where explosions sounded every day
In Israel, despite the constant terrorist threat, the children grow up in an atmosphere of calm and emotional comfort, says Elena Morozova and Alexander Wenger. This circumstance - the merit of the parents who were able to form a reasonable attitude to terrorism. Another important thing - the confidence of the people in the form of: its commands are executed without question, and their very presence inspires confidence. In addition, the attack is perceived as a common grief, rallying and mobilizing the entire population of the country - everyone knows that under no circumstances will the danger of one-on-one. Finally, all the population of Israel instructed on what to do in case of a terrorist attack. So, every Israeli child knows how to behave in the event of even a minimal threat.
- Try to leave immediately as far as possible from the source of danger.
- Seek help from an adult who inspires confidence.
- to do what an adult says, turned around, even if it is a terrorist.