I panic at the slightest provocation
"I am lost from any surprises - complains 40-year-old Valeria, a lawyer. - If the computer is hung, or before a meeting of torn tights, I feel confused, do not know how to be in a hurry and do horrible "Clinical psychologist Tatiana Resurrection believes that" cause panic in such cases is primarily the fear!. The feeling of helplessness is accompanied by the conviction that to resolve the situation will not be possible, and there is a fear of the terrible consequences that seem to be inevitable. "
Too rapid imagination. Valeria says that sometimes her mind time to swirl zip chain of associations that leads away from the initial event: "All understand that I can not do it, do not have time to do the job, fire me, I can not pay the rent ..." "There is a feeling their worthlessness - continues Tatiana Resurrection. - And with it a pity ( "What I am small and helpless!") Or self-loathing ( "I'm just worthless"). Imagination immediately draws a frightening picture, "horror stories" as a rapidly approaching "global catastrophe", with fantasies about what it can turn into horror incident (fire, flood, risk to spend the rest of life on the street and so on. N.). " Such reactions we involuntarily enrolled in childhood, when parents request trying to "think carefully about what it might end."
Peter, 41, a sales manager
"Every morning, come to work, I check my email, and there waiting for me seven dozen letters. Previously, I fell from that in a panic! I tried to deal with them, trying to quickly respond to each, and went to drink coffee, even waving at all the hand. Now I have them sorted. I view the most urgent and those that relate to myself - before I even posted a letter in which he addressed to me standing alone in a field of "copy". Daunting task was to me quite capable, when I stopped counting all equally important and began to separate the important from the unimportant. "
What to do?
Come back to earth
Calculate the consequences - an important skill. But no less important is the other - the ability to realistically assess the situation. It's worth reminding yourself of your goal. What I really need to do? What is important for me to execute the order in the first place? What is my next step in this direction?
Give yourself the right to be wrong
At least once each of us has been dropped or scratched. So it is in other areas of life - "bruises and abrasions" from time to time is inevitable. Keep this in mind and do not demand perfection from yourself at all.
Ask for help
There are challenges that we can not and should not solve only their own. Support service repairs our computer, the seller is selling us new stockings, and we go to a therapist to improve their sense of self. If you have something not cope, find someone who can help. The underestimation of their abilities. A sudden feeling of helplessness visits and those who do not have enough faith in their own strength. Sensing that the situation gets out of control, they can not adapt to it, and acute is experiencing. "This problem is very early - explains Tatiana Resurrection - and due to the fact that the process of separation, psychological separation from the mother has not been completed. The crisis age of three ( "Mom, I do!") turned out to be not passed in time. Perhaps my mother did not feel quite the right (for example, the Pope), and therefore it was important to be absolutely necessary at least to his own child. And subconsciously, she did so, to suggest to him that he is without it nothing can. The mother did not let go, and the child has not pulled away from her. As a result, instead of curiosity and initiative - helplessness, guilt and shame. And the need for someone who will support and say how "doing the right thing." The desire to get support. Often people panic rushes to call or run to the one to whom he trusts (sometimes really to my mother). "It is interesting that such a" trifle "as the incompetence of the trustee in the matter, is not taken into account, - says Tatiana Resurrection. - At such moments, the most important thing is not to get consultation, namely support. And when it comes to understanding - "I have a problem with not one," the person calms down, there is a clear (for example, the idea to find a specialist which will establish a computer). Many of us live with the conviction that you can ask for support only if there is sufficient reason to do so. If the need for attention is accumulated, we unconsciously begin to create such occasions. " Wanton inflation problem, which at first glance is not under a real reason, hides a deep need - to be loved.
- "How to become a parent yourself. Happy neurotic, or how to use the bio-computer in the head in search of happiness "Geoff Graham, author does not set a goal to change your reader and rid it of flaws. He tries to find a way to live happily with all these disadvantages and features. One of the ways - to learn to comfort, encourage, and protect our "inner child" (Class of 2001).