Keep the fire of their senses
Should I once again repeat that no universal solutions or ready-made recipe for a happy sexual life does not exist? Our desire is mysterious and changeable - there is nothing (or almost nothing) DC. The only thing we do know from experience - it is born of the senses, in particular gracious atmosphere. It can be compared with a wild flower that will wither quickly if the transplant it in a pot and somehow take care of him. Our sexual desire can become an inexhaustible source of energy for us - provided that we can not poison him, and we will not try to pacify his spontaneous bursts in which lies his strength and his weakness. We should accept that the desire to live by their own laws, in accordance with its rhythm. It can be overbearing, violent, like a volcanic eruption, but can - timid, vague, elusive. Many believe that to keep him - it is sexual techniques. And forget about the fact that alchemy of desire is created only two of us, it is never a repetition, but there are always creative. On these pages you will find descriptions of "trouble-free techniques." Only a theme for reflection and some ideas - not extinguished the fire of desire, the one that makes a passionate our relationship.
Take time for yourself
Fatigue, financial difficulties, stress - this is the most common cause harmful interference to love intimacy. But they often serve as a justification for a certain laziness in the relationship. It is no secret that the desire often arises when we are not busy anything complicated. And it is the lack of time we usually refer to when you do not want to close. It is best to know how to find his love, for which the meeting - a vital necessity. "Evening in the week, one weekend a month, a week vacation alone with each other - such visits help to protect their proximity to the routine - says sexologist Eugene Kashchenko. - to be alone outside the family, to tell each other something else, besides the usual stories about the day and plans for the future, a change of scenery - a ritual can set each pair. " It's not about how to plan ahead, "Goodbye love", but just about meetings alone, when nobody and nothing prevents two of them feel the closeness. Take time to be with each other, set a rule: talk about everything except life and work.
Nothing is more harmful to the request, as the persistent resentment, hostility and accusations. Especially those that we in silence, trying to hide from a partner. Suppression or denial - the real time bomb for sexual attraction. With this often face sexologists and family therapists, whose adoptive just filled with those who could not or did not dare to put into words their displeasure or anger. Therefore it is better not to save resentment, not to escalate the tension, but to discuss the differences as soon as they appear.
Be grateful to
Resolve conflict is vital, but it is equally important to say another good that we think of it. Too often we forget that his presence nearby - not debt, but the free gift. And because a word about how we appreciate his support and admire his act - is evidence not only of love, but also desire. Find the other some special talent or tell him of his gratitude - so bring something new to the mysterious alchemy of desire. Daily life dims our view, making the image of a familiar partner and blurred. Compliment - a way to remind others that we choose it among all the others. There is nothing more exciting touch, exciting desire, than a sense of their uniqueness in the eyes of the partner. And nothing has to close.
Give each other breathe
In each pair, there are external links with other people in addition to the relationship of interior space. "In order not to suffocate in the personal space, you must put your abilities, vitality and curiosity into a relationship outside the pair, - says family therapist Ina Khamitov. - Because nothing is exhausting and not get bored more than exist in the confined space of emotions. " The ability to find joy outside the relationship with the partner gives life together new energy and new paint. Also contributes to the image of each of the partners note secrets, mystery and even some of insecurity - qualities, awakening the desire to win, and can be a real aphrodisiac for two.
Look for new sources of pleasure
Eroticism can not be reduced to a mere bodily contact - this all our experts agree. In addition to the sensual pleasures available to us and intellectual joy. A sensual development at all takes place outside the sexual satisfaction. Enjoy music, marvel at the scenery, tasteful dinner, laugh together - like sensual pleasure make intimacy more intense. Occurs at such moments a feeling of well-being enhances harmony in the pair and acts as a stimulant, spreading its influence on everything, including the love intimacy. Desire, like love, is powered beauty, joy and freedom from compulsion.
It's a real gut feeling that you want to sharpen. The first step in this direction - to get rid of infantile plants in a relationship when a partner of the expected that it will bring us enjoyment "on a silver platter." This does not happen, because the desire to continue to live only when we are working on it. "Ask yourself: What excites me? - advises Eugene Kashchenko. - What kind of affection, imagination scenes make me the excitement? Without such self-examination, which may help books or films, the attraction will remain inaccessible to us. " Become active in the search for pleasure is to treat his request as a means, not a goal. And that's exactly what it is in reality.
Nothing kills the desire, like become ordinary nudity (opening without conscious desires), fraternal kisses, or devoid of all grace posture in which comfort takes up over the desire to attract others. Men, according to sexologists, experiencing the exhilaration of what they see, and women are more sensitive to erotic images, arising under the influence of voice and words. How can you avoid neglect their appearance and negligence, almost inevitably arising from an experienced partner? "Often it is enough to ask ourselves: would we behave as a man or a woman, which just met? - says Inna Khamitov. - It's not about how to behave on stage, or to suppress the spontaneity. This question helps to return conscious attitude towards self and others in daily habits. " Choose words, pay attention to their gestures and appearance - is also a concern about their romantic relationships.
Learn to play
Without the atmosphere of the game desire is doomed to slow extinction. Game - not just one of the components of sexuality, but the most important part of it. Desire - is a rush, coast, and because it takes when trying to incorporate it into the daily routine. The less we are planning, the easier it arises. Psychoanalysis teaches us that the desire powered deficit shortage. Sated, it goes to sleep. So, to keep him awake, you need to play with it on its territory. Play with the rhythm and frequency, with positions, caresses and fantasies, without succumbing to the temptation to believe that finally found "correct formula". Play with the desire - a promise him satisfaction, and then slip away. The options may be very different: the erotic allusions and teasing, deliberately abstaining from sex, when it is too predictable change of habitual roles, bold steps, which we previously did not dare, and which give us the opportunity to feel more alive and unpredictable.