"Respect your rhythm!"

Paint the day by the minute, do not waste time in vain, to do as much as possible ... The pursuit of complete control over the time does not help us feel better - on the contrary, because we can only lose contact with their desires and lose the incentive to life.

Psychologies: Are we dependent on time?

Marik Hazin, a psychotherapist, coach, head of the training center (marik.ru), author of the books "From love to hate ... and back", "Sold!" (Your Books, 2010).

Marik Hazin: Rather, we do not depend on time, but on the ability to manage it. Do not obey, and creatively to treat him, be spontaneous, to improvise. After all, the concept of time has many meanings. For example, it serves as a space for our senses, our relations with people, ourselves ... When there is no time, there is no place either for themselves or for others. Can you imagine an open, trusting relationship with your loved one, children, parents, if you do not pay this time? Personally, I have learned to manage time through art. In his youth, when I did the musical arrangements, I had to be exact and you-to read the minutes and seconds. Then, becoming a theater director, I should have realized during rehearsals, as a result of last performance. Not being at odds with the times, I would not last long in this profession, and year. Subsequently, because of my theater and cinema of the past, I learned the most useful time management skills.

Location is in us a burning desire - to subdue the time? MH: It begins in childhood, when the infant feels himself the center of the universe. He is helpless, and completely dependent on others, but it seems that the mother nourishes and protects it because he wants to. When the child grows, a certain amount of this feeling of omnipotence is preserved: all we (unconsciously) are convinced that we can control everything. Because of this, there is a constant tension and a sense of guilt, if something does not work, it gets out of control. This sense of power also extends to time. The more that modern society offers us to join in a common race, based on - control over time. To avoid feelings of worthlessness and helplessness, we strive for a short time to do as much as possible, to leave behind a trace of brighter, and at least no worse than the others. We are social animals and have to take into account the demands of society, but they are not suitable for everyone. Who is in touch with your inner rhythm (except children and crazy, of course)? Perhaps the only creative people who are working on the realization of its internal tempo.

The inexhaustible resources of time, but in order to use it, we must remember the purpose and learn to live in the stream here and now.

Could hurt us too much control?

MH: The danger is that the person who continuously monitors all ceases to feel

When planning your life, if we can stay in touch with their wishes?

MH: Putting life goals, to plan better flexible and soft. If you do not build any sort of plans - there is little to be "out". But if rigidly to paint all the time, leaving no room spontaneity - life will be similar to the movement of the robot in an enclosed maze. Inspired by the final result, it is important not to forget that, as we go to him. The result and the process - not the same thing. The result is there is in a sense outside of time - an event point, and then you need to set a new target. The process of the same - it is our whole life. While some of us are more focused on results, the other - on the process. with time relationships (as well as the sense of time) at the same time different. Those who focused on the result, feel worse time, and they have to strictly control it. A process-oriented, in contrast, often forget about the goal. time resources are inexhaustible, but to use them, we must remember the purpose and at the same time be able to be in the flow, to live here and now. Why exercise plans are not always gives us pleasure?

MH: This is what happens to those who have changed their dreams, their intended use. At work or at home, they live their lives as if it is a heavy duty. In this situation, the resistance should be, stable and growing, which is almost impossible to ignore - laziness. It usually occurs in those moments when the sound "should", "must", "should". It should be easy to replace them with "I want", "dream", as laziness will disappear. The stronger the desire, the more rapidly it is transformed into a goal, and later - into concrete actions to achieve it. It is clear that laziness saves us from vanity, haste and excessive stress. Every moment we are faced with a choice - to live or how to get to realize his dream. So why not turn the time of his life in space for interesting meetings and extraordinary events? Enough to allow yourself to dream about what once really wanted. After all, should we really want something, as directed forces are missing to go to the goal. And so, abandoning the dream, we deprive ourselves of the chance not only for its implementation, but also a stimulus to life.

What you need to do to keep in touch with your desires?

MH: When a person begins to work on himself, he asks himself questions. What was his life, which he lives, breathes, what is the meaning of life, what his childhood dream and how far it is from the fact that it came true? How "clean" way to yourself? How to take your place in this world? I am convinced that in order to get the answers to these questions, you must get rid of the excess in life, first and foremost - from activities that needlessly takes time, effort and energy. Try it and you answer questions such as: 'How would my life look, I'll be free from the need to earn money? What can you do to my life became closer to this ideal? "