Happiness: a short course of programming

Happiness: a short course of programming

Regulations universal. On cold days, the demand for heaters in an election year - for fresh political ideas. And in times of crisis and uncertainty in the happiness of growing demand in the future. To verify this, just look around the shelves of bookstores and read advertising training and personal development courses. Hedonistic happiness and Buddhist, bodily joy and peace in my soul, a strict ascetic happiness and the happiness of the rapid - for lovers of positive thinking ... The way to happiness is open to everyone. But is it always leads to the goal?

Recipes positive

To become happier, not necessarily to go to school and study grants. For example, English-speaking users the iPhone and iPad can download for 99 cents Live Happy app that advises, how and what to do to be happy throughout the day. At the core of the program - the book The How of Happiness positive psychologist Sonja Lubomirski (Sonja Lyubomirsky) *. it proposed model "happiness cake" finds all the new evidence. We are talking about the factors that determine the subjective feeling of well-being of each of us. Sonia Lubomirski distributed them into three groups. The first includes external conditions - the climate and social environment to financial prosperity. The second composition-resistant characteristics of the person, that is a hereditary tendency to initially perceive any event in a positive or negative way. The third group - a result of our choices, actions, goals that we set, and the relationships that we establish with others. So, first determine our happiness only 10%, the second - 50%, and the third - 40%. In other words, almost half of our happiness depends on us. And our task - to find the right recipe for the 40% of the "pie". Recipes, oddly enough, are very simple. "If I think about positive feelings and reproduce them, purely mathematically positive becomes larger in my life - a psychologist Dmitry Leontyev said. - It really shifts the balance, and it really can be learned. For example, one of the most effective methods - thanks. Think of the person who made you something good. Meet with them or write a letter to once again (or for the first time) to express their appreciation. Take time to think, to whom and for what you can be thankful. There is nothing artificial: it is always possible to find sources of positive experiences in their own lives. " Equally important is the evaluation of events. In one of the studies Sony Lubomirski people who considered themselves more happy (the first group) and more miserable (second group), compiled lists of important events in their lives. Then these lists are evaluated by independent experts, and it turned out that it was in both groups is roughly about the same events. Hence, happiness or unhappiness depends not on what happens, but by our estimates.

Healing optimism

Allergies, heart attacks, asthma, rheumatic fever - these are just some of the diseases that are reported by different authors, can retreat under the influence of positive patient's thoughts. Ask the group to volunteer at first to imagine a negative event, and then -positive, researchers have documented that in the second case, two activated areas of the brain: one that converts the positive thoughts in pleasant emotions and that which handles these emotions and sends appropriate signals to the body * . Another group of scientists has established: in optimistic participants in the experiment of the stress hormone cortisol release significantly lower than that of pessimists **. It is fair to admit that their own pros and pessimism is: encouraging us to be prepared for the worst, he gets to be careful, that increases our chances of survival in an emergency. But the long term benefits of optimism still look more convincing. Dutch psychologists, watching from 1991 to 2001, a group of elderly people aged 65 to 85 years, found: over these ten years the probability of dying for optimistic study participants was less than half of pessimists ***. Yu Z.

** British Journal of Health Psychology, 2005, vol. 10.

*** The Archives of General Psychiatry, 2004, vol. 61.

Happiness: a short course of programming

To agree that we can not manage everything

We agree: it is tempting to simply assess what is happening positively - in other words, to tell myself beautiful stories. This is what is recommended by many authors of books and training to achieve happiness. "Our brains are tuned to it to give meaning to everything that surrounds us, we spend a lifetime interpreting the facts, - says psychologist Yves-Alexandre Thalmann (Yves-Alexandre Thalman). - These interpretations, positive or negative emotions generate the same key. You need to use the freedom of choice given to us to learn how to cook the sauce to the raw facts. Facts - are stubborn things, they do not give in to our desires and remain as is, even if we do not like, but their value is not entered in them. It is the result of the stories that we tell ourselves. So it is only plausible to relate the facts, but the favorable explanations! "** history and really beautiful. We have looked askance boss? So now he just does not get enough sleep! I broke up with someone you love? So true, great love is still ahead of us! Got fired? Here it is, the long-awaited chance to start a new life! Here, it seems, and everything - happiness achieved ... Or not?

No separation from reality

Strange some luck turns. Wrong as wrong honey, open at one time a prominent researcher Winnie the Pooh pleasures. Indeed, following the logic of substitution of the reality of its interpretations in the two accounts can reach up to the chemical recipes of happiness ... "Today the universal pursuit of happiness brings us back to the infant the illusion of omnipotence, - says the analyst Lola Komarova. - Each infant inherent desire to pleasure. And the easiest way to get it - it's an illusion, all the children and start with them. When the baby needs something, he gets the desired. After all, for his mother, he - the center of the universe, and imagines that can do everything. But the more its real possibilities, the smaller the feeling of omnipotence. Fantasies are replaced by a small but real achievements. Today, however, our world is becoming increasingly illusory. And the universal pursuit of exclusively positive experiences - one of the illusions. Extreme manifestation of such pursuits - just the drugs. Adopted - and happy! But at what cost? "

Those who teach us to be happy, "programmed" himself exclusively to the positive seems to lose sight of the real life .... Is this not, by the way, the reason for the popularity of computer games, and other means of virtual leisure? Happiness divorced from reality, really easy to reach. But this is dangerous. Perhaps noticing the displeasure of a superior does not need to tell ourselves stories about his lack of sleep? And if he is not very pleased with our work? Then a good idea to take their responsibilities seriously - well, or just explain that it demands the impossible. Both of us are quite capable - if, of course, we have not yet started writing the following tale: about a new job and new opportunities.

"Psychoanalysis helps to cope with the emotions caused by the difficult situation and therefore makes us stronger - continues Lola Komarova. - This is different from the common logic to achieve happiness according to which nothing should cause negative emotions. Fear of them - generally one of the characteristic features of modern culture: if you can not avoid the reality, let's figure out how to dissociate itself from them more reliable. Behind all this is a great anxiety that we may be unable to cope with the difficulties of life, to understand them, to understand, to experience - so it is better not to feel. But is it possible, running away from difficulties, really live a happy life? I am not sure about this". Completeness of experience is impossible without suffering agrees Dmitry Leontyev. "But when we have low self-esteem, it ties our hands. We do not have the strength to act, to find ways to overcome obstacles. Those who perceive themselves more positively, consciousness is more liberated, it is easier to find creative and innovative solutions. If we do not feel compelled to constantly submit to the pressure of circumstances, you probably find a way to successfully confront them, if necessary. It is our inner point of support in dealing with life's inevitable troubles. "

is meaningful

Well, put aside the rose-colored glasses. And instead of being customized picture of the world under his understanding of happiness, we think about the fact of what we are experiencing happiness. Evening with a loved one, professional success, music, books, food or scenery ... Yes, of course, although in each of these cases the word "happiness" can easily be replaced with the word "pleasure". But is not it the same thing? "My definition of happiness is that it is a general feeling of pleasure, filled with meaning," - says a positive psychologist and philosopher Tal Ben-Shahar (Tal Ben-Shahar) ***. Happy man feels joy because he lives. Despite all the disappointments, trials and vicissitudes, he is experiencing positive emotions, discovering the meaning of life, and on the commonplace level. We have a need to experience an inspiring and nourishing our relationship, to bring the share of creativity even in simple steps, to devote time studies, which give the opportunity to express themselves. Meeting this need and brings happiness. "The pursuit of happiness is not based on the possession, generates a game in which everyone can win - says Tal Ben-Shahar. - I am sure that if such a way of thinking that leads to happiness, suddenly spread, it would have caused a bloodless revolution. " "One of the myths says that happiness brings money: the higher our welfare, so we are happy, - says Dmitry Leontyev. - But when the basic needs are met, you can find happiness only through meaningful only putting yourself in some kind of activity in a relationship. Unfortunately, we think that if up to a point making money bring us joy, that this will continue. Understanding that this is an illusion, moves daunshifterom: realizing the inadequacy of these efforts and their results, they go with the path that leads to success and money, but leads away from happiness. " We feel that many of our classes do not bring joy, do not make us happy. But by abandoning the usual way of life, we often do not know where to go for happiness. "It is strange to consider the purpose of happiness, - says Lola Komarova. - Rather, I prefer to speak of him as a ... bonus byproduct. Exactly! A job well done; from what we have understood something difficult and important; they could by their attitude, their actions bring joy to others - from all of this and there is happiness. " Elusive, changeable, always unexpected and always new. Not happiness "have" and not even the happiness of "being" and the good fortune to be themselves and to be with others ...

* S. Lyubomirsky "The How of Happiness" (Penguin Books, 2007). ** Y.-A. Thalman "Les gens heureux ne s'inquiètent pas de savoir si c'est vrai ... ils se racontent de belles histories" (Albin Michel, 2010). *** T. Ben-Shahar, "Learning to be happy" (Medley, 2009) .

Live ideals?

Maybe happiness - is faithful to moral ideals, or, in other words, a virtuous life? This is one of the many misunderstood our thoughts, says Professor of Psychology at Harvard University (USA) Daniel Gilbert (Daniel Gilbert): "Two thousand years philosophers were forced to identify happiness with virtue, because it is such happiness, they thought we should want. And perhaps they were right. But if life in the cause of virtue and happiness is not happiness itself, and calling the cause and effect in a word, we are just more confused. I can hurt you, pricks your finger tip or by stimulating a specific area of ​​the brain, and the two sensations are identical, although caused by different means. It would be wrong to call the first real pain, and the second - false. Pain is pain, no matter what caused it. Confusing cause and effect, philosophers were forced as a result of finding incredible justification for some truly amazing reasoning - such as, for example, that a Nazi criminal, basking in the Argentine coast, can not be truly happy, whereas the pious missionary who eaten by cannibals alive , such is true. "Happiness will not fear, - wrote Cicero in the I century BC, - no matter how much it may try." This statement may delight its maximalism, but it is, presumably, does not consider the opinion of a missionary, acted as a snack. ... Happiness belongs to the senses, virtue refers to actions, and these actions can cause these feelings. But not always and not necessarily. " D. Gilbert "Stumbling on Happiness" (Peter, 2008).