Sonia Lubomirski, "Well, that happiness is not eternal"

Our ideas of happiness clearly need rethinking, says bestselling author of "Myths about happiness," a psychologist Sonja Lubomirski. * We asked her to tell me that it led me to this idea.

Sonia Lubomirski,

Psychologies: Why did you decide to write this book?

Sonia Lubomirski: The more I studied the question of "how to be happy," the more controversial seemed to me the image of happiness, which is most of us. Our dreams often begin with the word "if": "If I were rich, I would have been much happier." Or: "If you do not get married, all my life will be miserable." Misconception is that we believe in these myths: happiness can earn, earn or buy. Of course, the happy events (revenue growth, wedding ...) really bring us satisfaction. But only for a while! We get used to positive changes and they stop to please us.

Yet we can become happier?

S. L .: Yes! If we are asked to evaluate their satisfaction with life on a scale from 1 to 10, most will choose the number of 6: comfortable just average. Even if now someone feels unhappy, it does not mean that he will suffer forever. So happiness is not eternal. You have long studied the phenomenon of happiness. whether it changed somehow your life?

S. L .: I understand that there is absolutely happy people. Each of us from time to time there are sad, lonely or scared. Each of our senses has its reason and meaning - and with this thought I felt better live. Happiness - a bright color in our emotional palette. It is good as an accent in the interior, but it would hardly be reasonable to paint the whole house in it.

* Sonia Lyubomiski (Sonja Lyubomirsky), one of the leading positive psychologists of the world, Professor, University of California psychology in Riverside (USA), author of several books, the latest - "Myths of happiness" ( "The Myths of Happiness", Penguin Press, 2013).