Not long ago, at a party, I witnessed a remarkable conversation. One of those present said that friendly relations more important and stronger kinship. He was immediately, with a hint of proud of freedom, supported by the majority. Of course, my friends - it is our own conscious choice, and relatives have been chosen. With friends, we joined the common interests and views, and relatives only common and often unpleasant problems. Of course, there is a duty to the parents and children, but this is completely different.
Still talking about that kinship ties were strong in times of patriarchal relations. Then the family united economy, economic, and moral challenges, the need for cooperation, to defend their interests. But times have passed Patriarchate, kids early departures from the nest and begin to live their lives. In this we have almost caught up with the West.
Consanguinity and now highly valued in some cultures, where there are clan relations and generic consciousness prevails over the individual consciousness. I noticed that, as far as I know, these people do not give children the elderly in nursing homes and children's homes do not exist, because the child lost his parents, certainly he takes in his family someone from relatives. All agreed that it was great, but what to do in the race, we did not go back.
Actually, the conversation was only an occasion to think about the meaning of consanguinity. The weakening of family and kinship is obvious.
Relationships with family fold, in general, the same rules as between friends and between people in general. We share the passions of another, or do not share, there is affection or not. From one person to grow together spiritually, with the other it comes to hatred. Then it is possible to speak of blood relationship as a special category of relationship that stands out amongst all the others? In my opinion, yes. I do not mention the fact that the brothers and sisters grew up in the same environment and their relatives are sometimes very early experiences and the circumstances surrounding them. Memories about them enough sometimes for life, they are sweet or painful, but always contribute to the elucidation of its own way, help build the story of his life. Parents - are the only creatures on earth who remember you from your first cry, the first steps and words. Without their memory the initial time of life when the character is born and the idea would have remained in eternal oblivion. Skipping the first chapters of the biography.
Therefore, it is important to know how they lived and what they wanted. After all, their desires are, one way or another, we would like to convey to you, put you in your dreams and tribulations. Only this, their history may explain why, how and what of you, and you do that.
But it's not only that. All of us, of course now know about genetics, but we live as if it did not exist. Confidently we believe that the only independently developed their own character and build their lives. The fact that we have a birthmark on her shoulder from her mother and close tears in the eyes and obstinacy of the Pope - so cute details that say always with irony. Son with extraordinary care and beauty inscribes address packs, repairing and attaches new elements in the broken chair. They say, in the whole of his grandfather. Granddaughter, flirting or objecting vertically extends in front of the palm - the exact gesture great-grandmother, which she had never seen.
After all, it is only external observation, and there are manifestations of the more important, essential, almost imperceptible. The elusiveness of confusing and sometimes tormented, followed, perhaps, is embarking on a hike along the branches of the pedigree. Because we understand that it is not completely made up of ourselves, the ancestors secretly gave us some of his traits and habits. Why, then, are inattentive to their closest relatives and still alive? I do not know a man who at least once did not admit that he feels guilt towards my parents. From this sense of guilt and self-pity of caring for them when they get old and sick. And what was the fault? Yes carelessness. Attention is born out of love. So it's not to love? Certainly loved. But selfish. Not actually them, and them as the source of his life. We loved himself as being separate and independent. So, not quite, but are not full of themselves.
Not immediately able to understand that it is not attention-not-love of parents is the flip side of the non-focus and a non-self-love. Because we are much more than it seems in his youth, made up of them. We do not just have them for life, but continue their lives, even if we want to live in spite of.
About love say reckless, crazy. But there is still a clever love. Parents - the best, and perhaps only its subject.