As a character affects the strength of the relationship?

Which is better for a relationship - when the apartment throws socks only one of the two or both? Scientists have found it - and also what character traits important for a strong relationship. Interview with author of the study.

As a character affects the strength of the relationship?

The pair will be stronger if the partners agree certain traits - such a conclusion came Rammshtedt Beatrice (Beatrice Rammstedt), professor of psychology at the University of Mannheim (Germany). Together with colleagues she studied for 4 years life of 7,000 pairs. Beatrice Rammshtedt tells what determines the lifetime of a couple, can get on two egocentric satisfaction and why women are important for the relationship satisfaction than men.


Is it possible to foresee how long the relationship in a pair?

Beatrice Rammshtedt:

It is difficult, if we are talking about a particular pair, because the relationship is influenced by many factors that can not be predicted. However, watching a large number of pairs, my colleagues and I have identified some patterns. So, on average, more stable relationship, if the partners agree certain traits - commitment, friendliness, openness to new experience.

These features are included in the "Big Five," as psychologists call a list of the main characteristics of the individual?

B. P .:

Exactly. With regard to daily life, this means, for example, that it is better when both partners throw their socks in the apartment (which corresponds to a low degree of obligation). But if does so only one of them, this situation has become a source of conflict. Similarly, if one is open to the new - and at times willing to go to any new restaurant - and the other wants to keep walking in the same, it can give rise to tensions because someone always remains unsatisfied. What happens if both partners are self-centered and unloving?

B. P .:

Paradoxically, the two grumpy partners can live in good harmony. Conflicts soon will if one more uzhivchiv and more in need of harmony, and the other does not share his aspirations. Then the relations are asymmetrical and unstable.

How important is it to match other traits?

B. P .:

For some traits are acceptable any combination. For example, two extrovert may get along, but they can also begin to compete with each other. On the other hand, an extrovert with a high need for social relationships may experience difficulty, being paired with an introvert. But it is quite possible that their relationship will be harmonious in terms of complementarity of roles: for example, if one likes to talk and listen to the other, everyone will be happy.

It seems, emotional stability - always a plus for couples. whether the relationship lasts longer if both partners are emotionally stable?

B. P .:

It is interesting that during the studies, we did not notice that emotionally unstable partners (also referred to as "neurotic") faced particular difficulties in the relationship. Apparently, the relationship can be long, if both partners are anxious and restless - perhaps because they enjoy similarities in lifestyle. We can also assume that one of the two men, who are more emotionally stable, provide other support, valuable for him, and everyone feels good in their roles. However, our recent studies have shown that the emotional stability of women plays a crucial role in the relationship: the more emotionally stable woman, the more she is satisfied with the relationship. Women's disappointment in the relationship leads to a parting far more often than men. the partners eventually become similar to each other?

B. P .:

The studies we have conducted for 4 years, this is not shown. However, in pairs, which are split up, there was an increasing divergence partners five basic character traits, although the overall character of each of them is considered as relatively stable.

B. P .:

We do not know where the cause where the investigation: whether the partners break up because the growing diversity of their characters, or their characters begin to differ more and more due to the fact that they have left. We tend to think that the second hypothesis is correct, but it is yet to be confirmed.

The Big Five

Researchers have identified five key characteristics of the person. They can be described by the allegations, which involve varying degrees of agreement or disagreement.

Extraversion "I easily express my feelings and I like to communicate with others."

Neuroticism: "I often feel anxiety and easy to lose confidence in yourself."

Open-mindedness: "I am interested in a variety of things, including a new, unusual and bizarre"

Benevolence: "I trust others and think that they are naturally good"

Bound: "I I place a plate in order; I organized, reliable and punctual. "